


Private Investigators

by Parker4131970



Category: Original Work
Genre: Adoption, F/M, Original Fiction, Serial Killers, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:26:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28020117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parker4131970/pseuds/Parker4131970
Summary: When a serial killer comes for those she loves, Beth Woods goes all out.
Kudos: 1





	1. Bomb

She was the most annoying and difficult person he'd ever met but Beth Woods was his partner. There had been two dozen times Beth had covered his back and saved his life. Jack continued the partnership if nothing else but for his safety. In the years since starting his career in law enforcement, he'd made hundreds of cases. It wasn't surprising that someone tried to kill him.

Jack and Beth got off work at five on Monday night. As usual, Jack bragged about his nightly date with a leggy blonde. Beth laughed until her keys hit the parking lot's cement pavement. The brunette knelt down to get them. A red light blinked beneath Jack's red Lexus. Beth sprinted toward his car a few open parking spots away and launched herself at him in a flying tackle. The Lexus exploded into a fireball just as he landed on his back. Debris flew everywhere in a sparkling shower. Beth lay across his chest unconscious. Her brown hair covered his face. Carefully the private detective eased her off onto the pavement and checked for a pulse. Beth was fine, just knocked unconscious from the force of the blast. 

Cops of every kind rushed out of the police station. Some began using fire extinguishers on the car while others checked on Jack and Beth. The lady private eye came around to the sight of Jack's dirty face.

"If you wanted me on my back all you had to do was ask, Beth." Focusing she slapped Jack as hard as she could on the jaw. He dodged most of it and grinned.

"She'll be alright." Medics lifted her onto a gurney as if to take her to the hospital. Chief Carlin marched up to the two detectives as Beth slid into the ambulance. It was funny to see the Chief move so quickly. His girth broke the wind like a semi truck.

"Are you alright? How's Beth?" Carlin fired off questions in rapid succession.

"I'm better than my car, sir, Beth saved my life." Jack gave his boss a verbal rundown on what happened as he watched his once beautiful car being put out by uniformed cops. All he could do was shake his head and watch.

Beth let the medics check her out but refused to let them take her to the hospital. Men from the bomb squad searched beneath every car in the parking garage.

"What am I going to do with you, Jack?" Carlin sighed heavily. The cocky detective was a constant source of both trouble and praise from clients.

"Chief, the explosion was caused by a car bomb. I saw it just before it went off." Beth drug herself up to the Chief and Jack. She had a goose egg-sized knot on the back of her head, cuts on her face and what promised to be bruises the next day. 

"I'll have to call the cops in on this one until this is figured out." Chief Carlin laid one hand on his shoulder. Jack shrugged, what could he do.

"Chief, let me stay at Beth's, she can protect me," the impish P.I. suggested.

"Absolutely not, Chief, come on," Beth protested loudly. She was adamant not to have Jack anywhere near her house.

"I'll behave. I promise, scout's honor." The boyish detective flashed a winning smile, his dirty blonde hair and green eyes looked like Prince Charming.

"Sorry, Beth, I've got to side with Jack on this one, you need someone to look after you tonight, that's a nasty knot on your head. If he gets out of hand, shoot him." Carlin spoke in a matter of fact tone, "Just don't kill him, okay." He gestured with his big, block hand. The man looked like an aging gladiator at 6'3", 250 pounds and grizzled, gray hair.

"I'll do just that." Beth's ominous tone made Jack think twice about the whole idea. 

Cops from Mercy PD began filtering down from the police station two stories above Carlin Investigative Services. They questioned Beth and Jack extensively before letting them go for the night.

"I'll drive." With a growl, Beth tossed him the keys to her Chevy Cobalt once they were free to go. It was a fight the whole way. She complained about how he cut too close to the vehicle, speed - everything. Jack wished he'd never mentioned staying with her by the time he parked the car in her carport.

"You should have dimmed the headlights before turning off the car," Beth nagged as Jack dropped the keys in her palm. Exhausted Beth limped sorely to her front door and unlocked it. Jack stepped cautiously in behind her. The old house was absolutely dark and still. When the lights came on Jack saw an inviting living room. He watched his partner drop her purse and coat down on one end of an overstuffed, brown couch.

"Lay your coat over there." Beth pointed to a matching armchair.

"Nice little nest you have here." Jack walked over to the entertainment center where a thin, plasma TV sat. It was incongruous with the rest of the wood furniture and beige walls.

"Thanks, so don't touch anything." Beth gave her partner a warning glance as she headed into the kitchen. Jack followed out of curiosity and hunger. Out of the refrigerator came a large, frozen pizza.

"Pepperoni, my favorite." Jack examined the box. Beth shook her head; he ate junk food like a kid and didn't gain a pound. It was so unfair. 

In twenty minutes the pair had drippy, cheesy pizza on Styrofoam plates while sitting at the kitchen island. Beth's eyelids drooped as she ate. Finally, after two slices, she gave up.

"I'm going to bed; there are extra blankets and pillows in the hall closet." Beth tossed her Styrofoam plate in the garbage and headed for her upstairs bedroom. Jack stayed at the kitchen island eating pizza.

"And don't touch anything," came booming down the stairs. Jack laid down the last piece of pizza as if it had bitten him. He didn't know if Beth was psychic or just knew him that well. More than once she had pulled him back from the brink of certain death during their days on patrol. Jack thought about it as he pulled a pillow and a blanket out of the closet then settled down on the couch for the night.

****

It wasn't a peaceful night's sleep for Beth. Like so many nights before, dreams plagued her, robbing her of any true rest. At two o'clock Beth woke up crying, calling for her mother. Unable to sleep she went downstairs for a glass of milk. Jack slept soundly on the couch, quietly snoring. It was like seeing a little boy asleep. He was so peaceful beneath the varied colors of the crazy quilt. Silently Beth tiptoed into the kitchen and poured a glass of milk. Gliding back through the living room she stopped beside the couch. Gently she pulled the quilt up snugly beneath Jack's chin. The playboy detective sighed and mumbled something about Sheila. Beth just shook her head and walked away. He could be so likable occasionally but Jack was always trying to impress everyone and usually trying too hard at it.

****

An alarm somewhere in the house began squawking at six. Jack threw off the light quilt and stretched his lanky frame. Beth padded down the stairs in her Tinkerbell pajamas and robe a few minutes later. Wordlessly she headed toward the kitchen. Jacked watched as his partner turned on a small coffee maker and poured a bowl of cereal with milk. It was very ritualistic, the way she set down a bowl, then cereal and pulled the milk out of the refrigerator. Jack couldn't help but stare in fascination. Beth saw him as she turned, a bite midway to her mouth.

"What!" she demanded, glaring at Jack. He grinned and shrugged at the evil eye being sent his way.

"Do you do everything so seriously?" Jack asked in response. Beth narrowed her eyes, her usual response to one of his dumb questions.

"I thought so," Jack teased. He was always teasing her about something.

"You had better eat if you're going to, we're going to your apartment before work so that you can get changed and get some clothes for the next few days." Beth took her cereal and padded to the living room. She flopped down cross-legged in the chair and began eating. Jack fixed himself a bowl of cereal and joined her.

"I didn't think you'd eat in the living room." He watched his partner methodically spoon marshmallow stars into her mouth.

"Only breakfast," she responded dryly.

*****

Beth felt strange having Jack in her house. It had been her private sanctuary for so long. Having a man in the house made it feel more like a real home. Beth locked the bedroom door before she changed into her work clothes. Jack was a tease and a flirt, but she knew he was ultimately a gentleman. As Beth stood in front of her oval, full-length mirror she examined herself. She was 5' 8", long legs, she was in shape and had curves in all the right places. Then Beth looked at the outfit lying on her bed; gray slacks, a lavender button-up blouse and she wore flat, black dress shoes. Nothing there would have caught a man's attention. She may as well have been a nun. 

The lady detective sighed, feeling unsure of herself. In years of knowing Jack, he'd never seriously looked at Beth as anything but another cop or another detective. She had never allowed him to see her any other way. The chances of being rejected were too much for Beth.

"Come on, Beth, get over it. There's someone out there trying to kill Jack. Save him now, love him later," Beth grumbled to herself as she dressed and ran a comb through her hair.

****


	2. She's Not Supposed to be Gone

Chapter 2: She's Not Supposed to be Gone

Twenty-five minutes later Jack and Beth drove to the apartment building downtown. Jack called it his bachelor pad. Stories about it were legendary. Beth didn't know what she expected to see when she got there. Whatever it was, she found a stylish but masculinely decorated apartment. The must-have, huge plasma screen TV took center stage in the living room. A bar separated the kitchen from the leather couch and glass top coffee table, giving the apartment an open, free moving feeling. Beth took a seat on the soft, black leather couch.

"I'll just be a few minutes, make yourself at home," Jack called from the back, in what Beth assumed was the bedroom. Beth walked around the apartment. Nosey, she opened the refrigerator and peeked in; milk, bottled water, eggs, the normal stuff. As Beth walked back toward the living room she saw a framed photograph hanging in the hall. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. A row of small fishing boats sat listing to the starboard. Overhead a shaft of light strained through dark, billowing storm clouds to illuminate the rough, old boats. Beth studied the sepia-toned photograph.

"Like it?" Jack's voice interrupted the spell the picture had cast over her.

"Yes, it's beautiful. I've never seen anything like it." Jack grinned big.

"I took it." Beth looked at him suspiciously, not quite ready to believe that her egotistical, girl-crazy partner had an artistic side.

"My mom gave me a camera for Christmas when I was eleven. We used to go to the national parks around home taking pictures." The lanky detective pointed toward other portraits hanging along the eggshell white walls down the hall to his bedroom. There were a dozen or so in a collage on the bedroom wall. Beth walked in, drawn by the images she saw. Along the top were photos of sunrises, receding into fields and forests then into sunsets. Photos of people hung on the opposite wall. From the clothing and hairstyles, Beth estimated they were taken when Jack was a teenager. The one that drew her attention the most was one so familiar that it made her hold her breath. The woman in the photo's long hair was being blown back by a draft of winter air. The maroon scarf she wore didn't really go with the brown, wool trench coat she was wearing. Tears welled up in Beth's blue eyes.

"Where did you get this?" Jack watched as his partner reached out to take the photograph off the wall. Her hands trembled like he'd never seen, even in a firefight.

"I took it when I was in middle school, at the park one winter. Why?" Confused, he took a better look at the photograph. Beth's features were very similar to the young woman's. They had the same heart-shaped face and high cheekbones. She must have been about the same age as Beth when the picture was taken.

"It's my mother. I remember that coat and scarf she wore, they didn't match but she loved them anyway." Beth handed the picture back to Jack for hanging. He'd never had someone so deeply affected by one of his photos. It made him wonder what about it upset her so.

"You can have it. I still have the negatives in my darkroom." Jack handed her the black and white photograph.

"Thank you." The response was so simple but truly meant and Jack knew it. Beth walked back down the hall, the photo grasped close to her chest. A few minutes later the pair were ready to leave. Jack threw a few days worth of clothes and his shaving kit into a duffel bag then headed out the door behind a very solemn Beth.

Beth hadn't seen a photo of her mother like that before. All of the family albums were full of more sedate photos of her. Usually, Beth was the focus of the camera. Jack's picture showed her mother more as she remembered her growing up; laughing, happy and young. She was thankful he gave it to her.

****

The red Cobalt maneuvered through traffic easily as Beth drove to the agency. Jack held onto the handle hanging from the door jamb. He'd learned to deal with his partner's erratic driving. After a few years of it, he'd quit getting car sick. Fighting about it hadn't worked. Beth griped and complained as she parallel parked the small car half a block from the parking garage.

"First the elevator goes down then your car blows up, making the garage a crime scene. This just isn't my week." She adjusted the peeling bandage on her forehead as she double checked the car door locks. Jack just smiled and followed her down the street. He thought to himself that Beth would complain if she had a feather bed. It was something his mother and grandmother had both always said. It didn't make a lot of sense to him but the sentiment fit.

"My two best troublemakers, come into my office,” Chief Carlin boomed out at Beth and Jack as soon as he saw them coming through the front door. The two detectives looked at each other suspiciously.

"Looks like he's been pacing all night in there," Jack whispered to Beth, who nodded in agreement. Carlin's office was large, until you compared the space to its owner. A maroon and white carpet covered the front half of the office while a desk and a bookshelf dominated the back half.

"What's going on, Chief?" Jack closed the door behind them then took a seat beside Beth.

"We received a letter from this wacko taking credit for bombing your car." Chief Carlin handed Jack a copy of the letter to read.

Hello Jack,

Hope your beautiful Lexus was insured. Sorry about Beth's rough tumble, bet you liked having her land on top of you so conveniently. Both of you'd better start making a list of what's nearest and dearest. I'm coming after you, just so you know.

The Irredeemable One

"This was found taped to one of the car windows in the garage early this morning. Uniforms called in crime scene techs, they have the original." Carlin's eyes looked bloodshot and gritty. Beth read it quickly over Jack's shoulder.

"He was there when the car bomb went off, he knew I landed on top of Jack." She blanched just a little at the revelation. Jack swore softly, his right fist tightened into a white-knuckled ball as he handed the copy back to Carlin.

"They're scanning the security tapes right now. I've been working all night. It looks like the cops are going to have to call in the FBI on this one. Whatever this sicko used as an accelerant is so complex that the lab can't pin it down, doesn't match anything they know." Carlin leaned back in his desk chair. The old, gray chair gave a groan of disapproval. 

Beth stood up as if someone had kicked her. Jack and Carlin looked at her perplexed. Beth wasn't usually the first to act on a situation.

"I have to check on my mother." Without being dismissed she rushed into the outer office toward the parking garage.

"Go with her, Jack. Don't leave her alone." Carlin sent him after her. The lanky detective ran to catch up to his partner. Her short, brown hair flew out around her as she raced down the stairs to the ground level and then out to the street. Beth was in her car and had it started up just as Jack arrived at the passenger door. He swallowed hard and dove inside just in time. The little Chevy zipped through red lights and stop signs like they were only suggestions. Jack hung onto the dash and the handle along the door jamb for dear life. Ten minutes later they slid into a parking spot outside of Mercy General Hospital.

"What are we doing here? Is your mother a nurse or something?" Jack scrambled to get out of the low slung sedan. He didn't quite understand what she said but it sounded like "patient". 

Inside they took an elevator up to the top floor. Beth paced the small, enclosed elevator car the five minutes it took to get to their destination. Slowly the shiny elevator doors slid open. The agitated lady detective turned sideways and hopped out onto the glistening hospital tiles. A heavyset nurse rounded the corner of her station. Worry lines criss-crossed her round face.

"Kayla, is my mother alright?" Beth's voice was unnaturally shrill. It made Jack's heart sink when he heard it. Her shoulders slumped as she clung to the tall, chunky nurse for support.

"I was just coming to call you, Beth. I'm afraid I have bad news…" She didn't get to finish her sentence. Beth pulled away and ran down the hall, disappearing into a door near the end of the corridor.

"What's going on here?" Jack stopped beside the nurse and stood looking back over her shoulder.

"Who are you?" Kayla's full attention came to bear on Jack an instant later.

"Jack Michaels, Beth's partner from work.” Jack gasped for breath, his sandy features turning beet red.

"Beth's mother just passed away." The nurse's voice sounded suddenly tired, like she was the one who'd just had a wild ride instead of Jack. Doctors and nurses filed out of the room Beth had disappeared into a moment before. Their faces were as solemn as statues. Jack jogged down the hall. When he made it to the door he saw something that chilled his blood. Beth knelt by the body of a woman he assumed was her mother, sobbing hysterically. A short, balding doctor type stood by the bedside frowning.

"I'm afraid there was nothing we could do, Miss Woods." Jack didn't like Baldy's tone of voice.

"Give her some space." Jack motioned for the doctor to leave the room. He just nodded and disappeared. Beth didn't look up at her partner as he approached quietly. Beth looked like a younger version of her mother, hair color being the only difference Jack could tell.

"She's not supposed to be gone." The pain in her voice was overwhelming. Jack laid his hand on her shoulder. He started to speak but thought better of it. What was there to say that would make one bit of difference to her?

"She was all I had left," Beth choked out before another wave of sobs overtook her. Blindly she patted at Jack's hand lying on her shoulder.

"Beth, honey, you gonna be alright. Do you need me to call anyone?" Kayla's soft voice broke the silence in the room. Quietly she walked in, pain on her face showing through her best efforts to stay calm. 

Beth shook her head, unable to speak. She clutched Jack's arm to stand upright. Jack motioned the nurse over to see to Beth so he could call the agency and inform Carlin. The big nurse took Beth in under her wing, stroking her hair and patting her back as she cried.

Jack tried to make sense of everything that had happened to him that morning. He had apparently crossed paths with Beth's mother in middle school, now he was in the hospital where she had died and he'd never even known that Beth had a mother, or that she was a patient at Mercy General. The detective's head spun at the news.

****


	3. M.I.B., Big Macs and Bottled Water

Chapter 3: M.I.B., Big Macs and Bottled Water

Carlin stood in the waiting room doorway, taking up almost every inch of the standard frame. Beth sat staring blankly out the window into the afternoon sunshine. All her tears were dried for the time being. Jack hovered close by, sipping coffee. His Lexus was nothing compared to Beth's loss. All of his usual witty banter and flirting were nowhere to be seen. Jack would have given anything to hear Beth laugh right about then. She'd saved him so many times and now he felt helpless to save her.

"They've called the FBI, they should be here in the next few minutes, and they are going to set you up in a safe house until this is solved," Carlin spoke loudly as the gurney bearing Beth's mother rolled by. 

Stunned into silence Beth only nodded. She felt numb inside. Reality hadn't set in yet that her mother was finally gone.

"My contact in forensics sent me the report on the letter. Seems like this guy used materials that are easily found, Wal-Mart printer paper, HP inkjet printer, tape from the discount store, they could lift a print, nothing. It's been sent to the FBI crime lab for a more detailed analysis." His words fell on deaf ears. The old man shook his head; there was nothing he could say that hadn't already been said. Two men in dark suits appeared behind the big, former cop.

"I'm Agent Timmons and we're with the FBI, here to escort your detectives to a safe house for the time being." The taller of the two spoke for them both. 

Carlin wondered to himself if they'd cut these two out with a cookie cutter they were so much alike. Jack helped Beth stand up, giving her his arm like a white knight. Together they followed the men in black to the elevator.

"I'll be in touch if we find anything else out about this, Jack. Take care of her." Carlin nodded at his only female detective. He'd never seen her so fragile looking. Carlin hadn't seen Jack that quiet either. Even in the worst of circumstances he was cracking a joke or doing something stupid.

"Follow us, please." The FBI guys led the way down the corridor in step with each other.

"What about our stuff, Beth's car?" Jack asked aloud.

"We've already collected your duffel bag from the car and a female agent gathered some personal items for Miss Woods." The agent speaking sounded like he did this sort of thing every day. 

Jack looked from the agents to Beth who stood beside him seemingly unaffected. He thought if anything would make her mad it would be someone going through her things. Beth looked straight ahead. Her eyes were so dead that it scared Jack.

"Are you really alright?" the unnerved detective asked, his voice low enough so that only Beth could really hear.

"When I find this SOB I'm going to kill him." That was all Beth said, her tone so cold the devil would have shivered.

****

Jack and Beth stepped out of the white van four hours later and into a small, white farmhouse. The faint light from the setting sun cast a forlorn glow on the six-room house. The M.I.B, as Jack came to think of them, each pulled out their 9mm and escorted the detectives down the broken cement walk and into the front room. Inside there was one, old couch and two ratty chairs facing a floor model TV. Blinds blotted out the last rays of sunlight for the day. Two other M.I.B. walked in, behind the two from the hospital. They carried two big sacks of fast food for the whole group. The original M.I.B.'s scoped out the rest of the house to make sure everything was copasetic. 

After the all-clear, Beth found the bathroom. The first normal thing she'd done all day. Jack waited impatiently outside, his long legs crossed as he leaned against the bare wall. He barely waited for Beth to move out of the way before he rushed inside and closed the door. The bathroom was small, just big enough for a tub, toilet, wash basin and something to keep a few bath towels on. Jack took care of business, washed up and joined the M.I.B. and Beth. 

It was like a very strange family reunion at the round kitchen table. Beth sat in one of the original four, matching chairs while the M.I.B. sat in folding chairs devouring big Macs and bottled water. Jack sat down beside her and dug through the leftovers for his supper.

"Here is yours, Jack." Beth pushed a big Mac and french-fries toward him without missing a bite of her own meal. He dug in readily. It had been more than twelve hours since breakfast. Even so, Beth barely finished her sandwich before leaving the table. Two of the M.I.B. followed her into the living room, sandwiches in hand.

"Do you follow us everywhere or what?" Jack asked between bites of limp french-fries.

"Yes, Mr. Michaels, we do," Agent Timmons answered.

"You didn't follow me into the bathroom," Jack taunted.

"Should we, Mr. Michaels?" the other of the two asked testily.

"Gee, guys, don't get your dander up, I was just wondering." Jack shrugged. These guys were no fun.

"I'm going back to the office, I have to write a report. If you need anything, Miss Woods, let one of my men know, you too, Mr. Michaels." Agent Timmons stood up and left with a sigh. 

Beth didn't even acknowledge that Timmons had said anything. She just continued to eat and stared into space. Her eyes were dry, but her heart was bleeding. Everything she had in the world, except Jack, had been taken from her. Beth was hurting, but she was damn pissed off too. She'd been a good person who wanted to make a difference in the world and she felt like she kept getting the short, dirty end of the stick in life.

****


	4. Pop Goes the Wesel

Chapter 4: Pop Goes the Weasel

Beth stepped out of the bathroom, her work clothes in one hand. She hadn't said ten words since her mother died. Jack didn't expect her to really, but it was unsettling without her normal complaining and fussing.

"I'm going to bed," Beth announced tiredly. It was only nine o'clock but considering the day everyone had just had, it was understandable.

"Mr. Michaels, you and Miss Woods will be sharing the same room for tonight, unless she objects." The senior M.I.B. spoke from behind them as Jack headed toward the bathroom.

"No objections," Beth answered directly, her shoulders shrugging uncharacteristically. Jack was tempted to reach out and feel her forehead checking for a fever. The Beth he knew would have pitched a hissy fit to end all hissy fits. He just shook his head and walked on into the bathroom, his pj's over his shoulder. Later he slipped into the twin sized bed and got comfortable. One of the agents stood outside the closed bedroom door on guard duty. Beth lay curled up on her side, her breathing even as if she were asleep. It was strange trying to sleep in a foreign house, especially without sirens, car alarms, neighbors and all the other night sounds of the city. The only thing to be heard was crickets in the distance and occasional noise from the Feds in the other rooms.

"Jack, are you asleep?" Beth's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Hmm, not yet, why?" He snapped out of his dozing state to hear what she wanted.

"Have you ever lost anyone close to you before?" she asked out of the blue.

"Yes, my dad died when I was ten," Jack answered softly.

"I was fifteen when Mom and Dad had a bad car accident, that's how Mom ended up in a coma. Dad died on impact. They say he never knew what happened, but sometimes I still wonder." Beth's voice cracked as she began to cry again.

"How did your dad die?" she sniffled. Jack sighed then spoke.

"He was on patrol one night on the bad side of town, stopped two teenage boys who were high on PCP. One of them freaked out and shot him." Jack could remember the look on his mother's face when his father's partner came to tell them the bad news. He'd remember that as long as he lived.

"Jack," Beth said after a few minutes of dead silence between them.

"Yes." He waited for her to ask her next question.

"If I ask you to hold me can I trust you?" Beth raised herself up on one elbow to look at him in the dark room.

"You can trust me, Beth." Jack sat up in bed to face her. Quietly she tip-toed the short distance between their beds and slid in beside him.

Beth took Jack's arm and laid it across her waist. They lay beneath a summer blanket together, Beth nestled comfortably against Jack's chest. Her hair smelled like green apples and faintly of lavender. It was the first time in ten years Jack had been close enough to find out what she smelled like. The tough lady detective fell asleep long before Jack did. He lay awake thinking about the day he found out that his father wasn't coming back and thanked God that he still had his mother. Growing up must have been difficult for Beth, her father gone and her mother locked away in a coma. There was so much he didn't know about her and they'd worked side by side for a decade. 

For a long time, Jack prayed silently, something he hadn't done in years. He fell asleep praying, feeling a new comfort in his heart that everything was going to be alright.

****

Carlin paced the length of his Crown Vic like a caged lion at the Coliseum. He'd been waiting too long to suit him for his informant to show up. Being impatient was one of the old man's flaws but three hours was a little much even for a patient person. A cool wind blew in from the north, ruffling what was left of the gray hair on Andrew Carlin's sweat-soaked head. He hated meeting his informants in such an out of the way spot but this one was more comfortable meeting at the city dump. Acres and acres of the city's trash lay all around. Truth be told, there was probably a king's ransom in hidden treasures lying in that stinking wasteland.

"When's this weasel going to show up? Alice has dinner waiting for me." The thought of missing out on mashed potatoes, brown gravy and turkey was more than he could bear much longer.

"Pop goes the weasel." A familiar nasal voice from behind startled the always alert cop.

"It's about time. I've been here three hours." Carlin turned to face his longtime informant. He saw before him a tall, scarecrow of a man with stringy, brown hair and narrow, shifty eyes.

"Glad to see you too, Andrew, it's been so long." The sound of his name coming out of the man's snarling mouth almost made Carlin draw his firearm.

"I'm sure, what've you got for me, Zelon?" Carlin demanded in disgust.

"Heard your world got rocked the other day, Chief. Seems I knew before you did. Now what have you got for me?" Zelon stood on the other side of the silver cruiser waiting expectantly. Carlin opened the back door and pulled out a bag about the size of a coffee can then tossed it across the trunk to the expectant crook.

"I heard the other night that a certain former city employee needed access to the elevators seems he has some big plan to ruin those two pit bull detectives of yours lives." Zelon talked as if he thoroughly enjoyed the sound of his own voice. To Carlin, it was like nails on a chalkboard.

"Just tell me who it was, I'll get the why and how of it as I investigate." Carlin moved closer, his fist tightening.

"If you insist. It was an acquaintance of mine…" Zelon never finished his sentence. Carlin watched his old enemy fall backward onto the ground. His surprised face was like something out of a horror movie. Blood pooled from beneath the scrawny figure's still corpse. Andrew Carlin took cover on the other side of his old cruiser, handgun drawn. On the other hand, he held a cell phone. One eye on the distant hills of garbage and one on the impossibly small cell buttons Carlin dialed 9-1-1. He waited for the operator to go through her usual spiel then called for help and a body bag. 

Silence pervaded the stinking desolation; no more shots, no sounds of vehicles in the distance, nothing but the faraway calls of scavenging birds. Carlin sat alone for a few minutes until he heard sirens coming up the access road. Time had dragged by for the retired cop. It hadn't taken him long to search the body. It was almost a relief to be rid of Zelon. All there was to be found in the dirty remains was drug paraphernalia, an address book and thirty dollars for his next hit of whatever drug he couldn't live without. Patrol cars finally showed up twenty minutes later to see Carlin sitting on the trunk of his car, a dead body lying beside him on the ground.

"Looks like it's going to be a long night for me. No good skunk never was good for anything but trouble." That's how the night began for Andrew Carlin. When he finally got home the gravy was congealed and the mashed potatoes were dried out. Alice wasn't happy either.

****


	5. Abandonment

Chapter 5: Abandonment

From somewhere outside a bird began singing, its mate calling back from a distance. The repetitive strain penetrated Jack's brain well after daybreak. Groggy and about to pee he sat upright in bed. If not for the indentation of her body Jack would have thought that Beth being in his bed had been a dream. Tear stains on the sky blue pillow sham were further proof that she'd been there. 

Through the closed door, Jack could smell coffee and jumbled food smells. Yawning he walked out into the small living room. Three M.I.B.'s sat facing him, their dark clothes contrasting with the yellowing paint and earth-toned couch where they sat. It was disconcerting to walk out and see three big men dressed in black first thing in the morning. Kinda like waking up and seeing the specter of death in a suit. Jack mumbled something about crow people and walked into the bathroom to get started for the day.

"Breakfast is here when you're ready, Mr. Michaels. Miss Woods told us what you'd more than likely eat." The M.I.B. from the hospital spoke as Jack exited the bathroom then headed toward the kitchen. Jack just nodded and continued on his merry morning way. Beth sat at the round kitchen table eating, her brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, dressed in the T-shirt from the night before and cargo khakis. Jack was stunned, he'd never seen her in anything but dark dress pants, button-down blouses and casual but neat hair and makeup. A comment about her new camp counselor attire began forming on Jack's lips as he sat down across from Beth but died when he saw the look of certain, instant death in her eyes if he said anything. He didn't know if it was spending the night in the same bed or the comment about her clothes that she would have killed him over. Probably either one but the detective just let it go and started eating.

****

After breakfast Jack bathed and dressed for the day. He only had work clothes with him. Coming out of the bathroom he saw Carlin standing in the middle of the room. His face told a story before he could speak. Jack took a seat in one of the wing chairs to hear the bad news. He half expected to hear that his mother was dead.

"What's wrong, Chief?" Beth asked from the kitchen doorway. She looked from her boss to her partner.

"I had a meeting with an informant last night. He was going to tell me who this sicko is but someone took him out first in a sniper-style hit." Carlin sighed heavily. Beth put her hands in her pockets so no one would notice they were shaking.

"Any leads?" Jack inquired about his grim expression out of character.

"Not right now, they're still investigating." To Beth and Jack, it meant that they were still at square one.

"Is there anything we can do to help the investigation?" Jack stood up, ready to charge into action.

"Well, the feds want you to come up with a list of people who may hold a grudge, anyone who's been acting unusual, that sort of thing." Carlin watched his two best detectives look at each other. It was going to be a long list.

"We'll get right in on it." Beth stepped further into the living room. Jack could see that she was a little paler than usual, but let it pass.

"I'll have some of your case files sent over later, give you a chance to look back over them." With that, the chief turned to go. His heavy steps made the floorboards creak in distress.

"Oh, Chief, will you do me a favor? I need you to get in contact with someone who can take care of my mother's funeral for me, Kayla Marshall." Beth wrote down a phone number and a few instructions on a piece of paper and handed them to the old cop.

"Sure will." He nodded, his expression sympathetic. There were few soft edges to the Chief but he was a good man. Beth thanked him before he left.

****

Outside the day had gone from sunny to pouring rain. The M.I.B.'s took turns on guard duty around the clock. Other than the TV playing low there was only the sound of the droning water on the tin roof. Beth worked on her list at the kitchen table, trying to think of anyone she'd crossed paths within the last ten years that would know her mother was a coma patient at Mercy General. Jack didn't even know that, but Carlin did. He was the only one who knew in her life. Beth didn't get the feeling that Carlin was the sick individual who'd smothered her mother with a pillow. By two o'clock she'd listed nearly fifty names that she could think of. Her head ached and sitting in one spot made her stiff. She was still getting over the effects of the explosion. Finally, the tired detective walked into the living room. Jack sat on the couch, a pad of paper on his lap and Tom and Jerry cartoons playing on the TV.

"Are you finished with your list yet, Jack?" Beth asked, annoyed. The boyish detective took a long time looking from the TV to his partner.

"Yea, almost. Are you?" He looked up at her, his green eyes and sandy hair, looking for the world like Wally Cleaver.

"Almost. I just need to jog my memory, that's all. I was hoping that your list would have some different people that we've gotten arrested." Beth rubbed her temples like she did whenever she had a migraine coming on.

"I'll give it to you in a few minutes." Jack lowered his voice.

"Think I'll take a Tylenol and take a nap, this can wait until later." 

Beth slept until dinner time. Jack quietly stepped in and asked if she wanted anything but Beth didn't feel like eating.

***

Carlin slid the small, gold key into the beat-up mailbox. The thing was full. There wasn't much in the way of mail that meant anything, or so the old chief thought until he pulled back a furniture store flyer and found an envelope with very familiar writing on it. Seeing the sick bastard's handwriting sickened Carlin. It was another taunt from that Irredeemable One. Grumbling Carlin called the station. He'd just spent the better part of twelve hours at work now he was likely going to spend a few more. The old detective thought to himself that he'd be lucky if his wife didn't divorce him on grounds of abandonment. He was rarely home.

"Hey, Alice, yeah, it's me again. I just got another letter from that whack job the Irredeemable One." His wife of thirty-five years sounded annoyed at the news. She sighed and said she was going to leave a plate for him in the oven. Carlin shut the cell phone and called the police station.

The retired cop muttered some choice words that the dispatcher didn't quite hear clearly. She got the gist though. Crime scene was Johnny on the spot. Carlin got to go home an hour later, much to his satisfaction. The letter wouldn't be ready until the next day so there was no reason to stick around the station. Carlin went home to a dark house and a cold supper. Alice had gone to bed by the time he turned the key in the door.

****


	6. Zombie Manequins

Chapter 6: Zombie Mannequins

Warning - Here's some of the violence I warned you about.

***

Beth faintly heard Jack come into the bedroom and slide beneath the covers of his bed. She'd changed into her pajamas earlier in the day. Rain on the roof and Jack settling down for the night were the only sounds in the desolate area of the house.

"Jack!" Beth's voice startled him. Jerking, he sat bolt upright.

"What!" Jack didn't hear his partner stiffening a soft giggle.

"Who do you think is doing this?" She moved onto her side to look at him in the light from the security light. It had a candlelight effect on her strong facial features. Beth watched him watching her as she waited for an answer.

"I really don't have a clue on this one. I've been thinking about it since my car went up in flames." Jack rolled over to face her. She was so much softer, yet more distant somehow. She still surprised him after years working together. Seeing her at her worst was beginning to make him reevaluate his initial thoughts on Beth Woods. Jack had always had a soft spot for her in his heart, but that was turning into true affection and admiration.

"Can I ask you a personal question, Beth?" Jack thought hard on how to phrase what he wanted to know.

"I guess." She shrugged, but her pulse raced. He so rarely asked a serious question, and rarer yet asked her a personal question.

"Why haven't you married yet, been in a long term relationship or something?" Jack felt his heart beat hard in his chest as he tried to see her face better in the shadows.

"Married to my work, partly, never met the right guy, never took the time actually to meet the right guy, hiding if I were honest about it." She sighed sadly, the silence between them awkward, like two teenagers who like each other trying to talk.

"Why haven't you gotten married, Jack? It's not from a lack of dating I know." It was a valid question. He wasn't sure he knew or wanted to admit the answer. Still, she'd been honest with him so he answered.

"Didn't want to commit, end up dying on the job like my Dad, never met the right girl, same old story." Jack winced at the sound of it. Aloud it sounded pretty lame.

"I can understand." Beth's assurance made him feel hopeful. Jack thought about it for a while as he listened to the steady rain then drifted off to sleep.

****

_ Hello Beth, _

_ My, my, should have seen your face when Chief Carlin read the letter to you. Do you like my writing? Tell me, how long have you been wearing that lovely perfume? Was it something your mother wore or did you find it yourself? Poor little Beth, now you're an orphan. Don't worry, you'll be joining Mummy and Daddy soon enough. Wonder what you'll look like in widow's weeds when I kill Jack first? _

_ The irredeemable One _

The letter was taped to the windshield of the lady detective's red Chevy car, still parked in the hospital parking lot. Two uniformed officers found the fluttering, white paper as they pulled up beside the economy car. They had had the misfortune to be assigned the day's dirty job: picking up Beth Wood's car. One look told them all they needed to know. It was called in to dispatch and Forensics responded, as well as the bomb squad, considering the way Jack's car had gone up in flames it was deemed necessary. 

A bad feeling in the pit of the Chief's stomach began churning. It was the same feeling he'd had just before every major problem in his life had sprung up. He had two choices, face it head on or tie a good one on and ride it out that way. Whatever he decided it was still coming and there was nothing he could do about it.

****

About 2 AM, Jack drifted up from a sound sleep. He heard a soft voice either crying or laughing. It took him a few minutes to wake up enough to distinguish the difference.

"Beth, do you hear something?" Jack mumbled sleepily. Her lack of response woke him finally. In the dark, he fumbled for the light on the nightstand. Beth lay still asleep in the next bed. Her sheets were twisted as she flailed out at a dream attacker.

"Wake up." His voice was calm but continued to rise in volume as he tried waking Beth up. Finally, she sat up crying, calling for her mother. Tears poured down her cheeks as she sobbed hard. Frightened, Beth clung to Jack, who sat on the edge of the bed. He didn't know what to do. Clumsily Jack patted her shoulder and let her cry it out. Afterward, he washed her face with a cool, wet washcloth. It was a little rough, like washing a dirty, little child's face, but it was tenderly meant.

"That was some nightmare." Jack's voice vibrated against Beth's ear as she nestled against his chest. It was comforting to hear.

"I have them every so often; have ever since the car accident." Her voice was scratchy from crying.

"Were you in the car when it happened?" He kicked himself as soon as the question was out of his mouth. It seemed insensitive to ask.

"No, I was in the car with a friend of mine right behind them. I saw it happen." Beth shuddered, her whole body shaking for a moment.

"I'm sorry. I can't imagine." Instinctively Jack kissed the top of her head. Nothing about either of them had been in-character for the last three days. There wasn't a "normal" anymore, everything was out of perspective. All they had was each other to lean on.

"Jack, I know it's a nuisance and weak of me, but would you hold me again tonight?" Beth felt like a little kid asking to sleep in her parents' bed after a nightmare. It made her feel guilty.

"Sure, I won't tell if you don't." He slid back to the edge of the twin mattress. Beth brought her pillow and lay down against Jack's broad chest. She lay curled up as he brought the covers to rest over them both.

"How's that, you comfortable?" Jack asked, receiving a nod in response. Beth took his arm and laid it across her waist.

"Thank you," she murmured. It felt good to have his arms around her. His clean, masculine scent and warmth were like a salve to her burning heart. Sometimes it was hard for Beth to hide her weakness for Jack.

"You're welcome, Beth." Jack pulled her closer. It was his turn to protect her from her greatest fears. As he tried to get back to sleep Jack wondered if, under different circumstances, he and Beth could have had a serious relationship and where it would have led. The playboy detective fell asleep wondering what their children would look like.

*****

0 10 PM Watched cops drive away

O Snuck into Beth Woods' house

O Disabled alarm system

O Beth's house very tidy

O Found a newspaper article

O Found high school journal, pictures, and birth certificates

_ "Tuesday afternoon, during a hazardous thunderstorm a couple skidded into an oncoming semi. Anna Marie Woods (36) and her husband, Charles Jason Woods (38) were taken to Mercy General Hospital where Charles Woods was pronounced deceased. Behind them, riding with a friend, was their daughter. The daughter's name is not being released at this time because she is a minor. Family members have not issued a statement at this time." _

*****

By morning the rain had stopped and the day dawned to a partly cloudy start. Somewhere in the night, Beth had turned over to face Jack. The pair lay face to face. Actually, they lay face to chest. Beth's forehead lay against Jack's shoulder, the rest of her body curled up in a fetal position. Jack woke up early to find her still asleep like that. In the poor light, he could see her peaceful face. He resisted the urge to reach out, to push back the strand of hair lying along Beth's cheek and kiss her gently.

I've been cooped up here too long, now I'm starting to go all mushy over someone who doesn't even like chili cheese hot dogs with mustard and onions, the playboy cop thought as he lay there studying his partner. Beth woke up to see her partner watching her. Jack didn't look away, he only extended his hand and gave in to the urge to caress her face. An exquisite expression of surprise and pleasure filled her heart-shaped face as Jack's fingertips danced across Beth's cheeks.

"Good morning," he whispered, not wanting to break the spell of the moment.

"Hi," Beth huskily whispered. Gently she took Jack's fingers into her hand and pressed her lips to his palm. It was a strange sensation, even to Jack. He'd never seen the slightly wild, mildly devilish expression in Beth's eyes, which were sapphire instead of their usual gray-blue. He leaned in and kissed her full lips, feeling her fingers on the back of his neck, running through the short, sandy hair above the nape. 

Beth wanted to fan the fire of her desires. Kissing Jack was the last thing she'd planned on doing, especially first thing in the morning, before brushing her teeth. Part of her had always been jealous of the women he dated. They got to be close to his lanky frame in ways that Beth could only imagine.

When they came up for air Beth lay still, silently crying out to unleash her wildest whims on Jack, but instead, she touched his prickly face and sat up.

"We'd better get up before they send in a search party," Beth lamented. She sure didn't want to though. 

Jack felt a little letdown but took it like a good sport. With a sigh, he sat up and slid his feet into his house shoes. Outside the bedroom door, it was quiet. The M.I.B.'s weren't a talkative bunch but one of them was always moving around inside the house. Jack and Beth both expected to see three of them sitting on the couch watching the morning news. See them they did, sitting upright, heads hung forward, their throats having been slit. Blood had poured down the fronts of the agents' crisp, white shirts, looking like horrific bibs around their necks. Beth let out an earth-shattering scream and backed away from the three bodies. Jack pulled her into the bedroom behind him. Even his usually stout stomach was challenged by the gore he found. 

FBI issued sunglasses had been placed on their faces making the bodies look as if they were zombie mannequins. Beth sat on the edge of the bed, her hand over her mouth, and her face as pale as the bed sheets where she sat.

"I'll call Carlin, he can get hold of the Feds." Jack grabbed his cell phone from his jacket pocket and dialed his boss. Beth pulled it together and quit gagging. Jack turned his back on the gruesome scene and closed the door as he spoke to Carlin.

"Hello, Carlin, this is Jack. We've got a situation here at the safe house." Jack listened for a moment as the old cop swore then asked for more information.

"Three of the agents were killed last night." The continued swearing on the other end didn't surprise Jack at all. He was glad to hear that the Chief and the Feds would be there soon.

"Alright, Chief, see you then." Jack snapped the cell closed.

"Wish we could turn the air on full blast, which would slow the decline of the crime scene, keep the evidence fresher," Beth suggested, shuddering at the thought of what awaited them outside.

"That's a good thought except that someone would have to walk the entire length of the crime scene to do it," Jack pointed out. His partner just shook her tousled head.

"I've got to get out of here before Crime Scene gets here. I've got to pee." Beth winced at the thought of holding her bladder until they showed up.

"Me too, but I don't think we should go outside. What if this psych job is still around?" Jack wasn't any more thrilled about it than Beth.

"I'd like to get dressed too," Beth grumbled, thinking of the best way to change with Jack in the same room. He was a gentleman but she knew how racy his mind could be at times.

"Yeah, I'd get dressed but I'm afraid if you saw my fabulous body you'd just go crazy and attack me," Jack joked to break the tension. He didn't know how close he was to the truth.

"I could hardly help myself. It would just be all over before you knew what happened." Beth bantered back, that same devilish look in her eyes.

"Seriously, I'll turn my back if you want to get out of your Tinkerbell pajamas," Gentleman Jack offered.

"Thanks, I will." She nodded, glad he had. Beth pulled out a pair of blue jeans from the bag packed for her. Her partner stood by the door looking at the grainy texture of the cheap wood. The lady detective turned her back to the door and slid her pajamas off. Jack heard her clothes hit the floor. In the mirror by the door, he could clearly see her pull the snug denim over her low-rise panties. Beth raised her arms to pull her hair into a ponytail before sliding into a short-sleeved, button-down blouse. Feeling like a betrayer Jack averted his eyes just as she turned around.

"I'm finished." Her voice startled Jack out of his guilty thoughts. He changed while she sat on the bed facing the door getting her shoes on. He finished dressing in a flash. Beth didn't need to see his teddy bear boxers. There would be no living that down if she knew.

For the next forty-five minutes, the pair of detectives sat on the bed looking at the walls. Jack reflected on what he'd seen and how he felt about it. Beth lay back on the narrow bed, contemplative as well. She could see what attracted women to Jack. Why he hadn't been attracted to her before now was a mystery. Beth wondered if it was the close quarters having an effect on them, besides the fact that someone had set out to kill them. Jack opened the window for some fresh air. It was beginning to be balmy in the small house.

"I wish we could work on this case ourselves instead of waiting for the cops to bungle it." Beth sighed. She hated being out of the loop.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I'd like to go through the apartment of that informant Carlin met." Jack lay back on his bed, the sun highlighting his sandy hair.

"Why don't we?" Jack pondered aloud, sitting up to look at Beth who shifted to look at her partner. It wouldn't be the first time they'd broken the rules to solve a case.

"What?" The lady P.I. gave him a confused expression.

"Why don't we skip out before the Feds get here and see what we can find out?" Jack's green eyes nearly glowed with anticipation.

"Alright, sounds good, so what's the plan? Won't the Feds just come looking for us, especially if they think we're getting in on their investigation?" The private detective asked a good question. As usual, Beth asked the practical question.

"Yeah, but we can get a lot done between now and then." The next hurdle was how to get away from the Feds. Beth and Jack thought for a while before either of them spoke.

"This whack job has killed four innocent people and plans on killing us next. We can kinda "borrow" Carlin's car and say that we really need to use the bathroom and get some breakfast. Not entirely a lie, but I don't intend on coming back. " It was crazy but had a real chance of working. Beth's blue eyes looked out into space as she outlined the plan. Their gray overtones were a dangerous sign, one Jack had seen only a few times before.

"I'm game, you lead the way." Jack sat up, offering his hand for her to shake on the deal. Both detectives jumped when they heard the first vehicle coming up the gravel drive. It was time to put their plan into action. Jack stepped out of the window and shouted out. He helped Beth step over the low window sill and into the warm, spring air.

"What's the situation, Jack?" Chief Carlin's voice sounded like a sonic boom.

"Three Feds are dead in the living room," Beth volunteered, shuttering at the thought of sleeping through three brutal murders. 

Carlin shook his head in dismay. Over their career, Jack and Beth had had some bizarre cases, but this one topped them all.

"Yeah, Chief, is there any way we could drive out of here to the nearest gas station. We didn't want to contaminate the scene so we haven't used the facilities yet this morning," Jack spoke low, looking like he was in a bind. Carlin tossed Beth the keys, no questions asked. Jack followed closely on Beth's heels. Something about them made the retired police detective suspicious. He could feel it in his bones, they were up to something.

"Chief, did you call Kayla like I asked so she could take care of my mother's funeral arrangements?" Beth asked, concern in her voice.

"Yes, she said she'd take care of it today," Carlin answered briefly. 

Jack wondered who this Kayla person was but figured he'd ask later. Right now he saw trouble on the horizon.

For once Jack didn't mind Beth's  _ Dukes of Hazzard _ style of driving when they got on the road. In the rearview mirror, Beth saw Carlin standing outside the small farmhouse all alone. In the distance, the big, gray Crown Vic kicked up dust as it sped away from the safe house.

****


	7. Red Pixie Cut

Chapter 7: Red Pixie Cut

Warning- Here's some of that sexual content I warned you about earlier.

*****

_ Hello, Jack and Beth, _

_ How is the happy couple? My, you looked so sweet and innocent. I hope you appreciate me taking care of the audience outside. One day, very soon, there won't be an audience. That's the day you'll both meet those Feds. See you then. _

_ P.S. Beth, does Jack know about our little Anna or have you kept her locked away like a dirty little secret? March 25, 1994 _

_ The Irredeemable One _

***

A single page fluttered from Carlin's lamp as he walked into the office. Carlin felt a migraine coming on as soon as he saw the handwriting on the stark white printer paper. After reading he pulled out the top drawer at his stomach and fished out the Tylenol. Andrew Carlin dreaded taking the note to the cops like he dreaded going to the dentist. Whoever Anna was he was sure that Jack didn't know. Carlin didn't even know who she was; the date at the end of the letter was too recent to be Beth's mother. 

With a drink of black coffee, the chief downed two pain killers, called Mercy P.D. then dialed Agent Timmons’ number. The Feds were just going to love this new development.

****

Hotel rooms are like mathematical formulas, even nice ones. The one that Jack and Beth rented was like finding the area of a square. Purposely they'd chosen a small hotel in a dirty looking part of Mercy. Along the way, Beth had called in a favor from a former client. Merissa Blanchard had once hired Carlin Investigative Services to follow her husband for a standard infidelity case. Turns out he wasn't cheating; he was actually taking dancing lessons for their anniversary. She'd been so embarrassed she'd promised to do anything they asked, within reason. Beth figured asking for a few necessities and a small loan wasn't unreasonable.

"Hello, Merissa, this is Beth. You remember the detective that followed your husband to his ballroom dancing class last year." Jack rolled his eyes as he listened quietly.

"Yes, I'm in a bit of a spot and I need you to meet me, bring a couple of changes of clothes for me and Jack, a box of red hair dye, and a pair of good scissors." 

Jack looked at his partner with a questioning almost fearful look as she gave the woman their sizes. Beth played with her shoulder-length locks to indicate that it was her that was going to endure the extreme makeover. He sighed in exaggerated relief.

"We'll be at Wal-Mart. Drive around to the dumpster, and we’ll meet you there in an hour. Bye." Beth snapped the silver cell shut without waiting for an answer.

"I've often wondered what you'd look like as a redhead, bet it'll be sexy." Jack teased. His green eyes smoldered as he saw her consider a comeback.

"You never know." Beth gave him a devilish grin as she eased to a stop beside the Wal-Mart dumpster. 

Outside the temperature had risen to a breathtaking 89 degrees. Even with all four windows down and a little breeze, the back alley was still hot. Beth unbuttoned the top button of her purple blouse. The soft, cotton clung to her damp skin as they sat there waiting in the old car. A stream of sweat trickled down her neck, trailing between Beth's breasts and into the forbidden zone beneath her blouse's button folds. Jack watched its journey as she laid her head back on the headrest, eyes closed.

"What?" Beth's tired voice broke into his fantasy.

"Nothing, why?" Jack tried to sound innocent as he turned to look out his window for Merisa Blanchard.

"You've been staring at me for the last ten minutes. You're unusually quiet when you stare, Jack." Beth barely opened one eye to see his expression. Jack couldn't hide what he was thinking worth a nickel. He was only quiet when he stared and usually he was staring at a woman. She suspected that he was staring at her unfastened top button. 

For a long moment, Jack thought about what he wanted to say. He had two choices, play it off as a joke or bring out in the open what he was beginning to feel for Beth.

"She's here. Cover me." Beth scrambled to get out of the Crown Vic, cutting Jack off before he could speak.

"Merissa, glad to see you." Beth met the pretty soccer mom at her Cadillac Escalades' door. They talked for a moment before Beth came back with a huge duffel bag. With a wave the former homecoming queen drove off, satisfied that neither of the detectives were ever going to call her again.

"That's finished, let's go back to the room." Beth slammed the back door then slid in beneath the steering wheel.

****

Carlin met the FBI agent with an expert poker face. Timmons charged up, two goons on his heels like ducklings. He moved with an air of authority and athletic ease. Carlin wasn't impressed one bit. He'd been chasing criminals since Timmons was toddling around his playpen.

"Mr. Carlin, where are your detectives?" Timmons sounded edgy as he pulled off his fancy sunglasses.

"They went to the 7-11 to take a piss and get doughnuts," the retired cop answered matter-of-factly. Timmons turned to his goons and told them to call in a BOLO for Jack and Beth as well as the Crown Vic.

"You'd better tell me where they are. This Irredeemable One is a sick, resourceful character, and he's not going to stop until they're dead." Red crept up the agent's face as he spoke.

"Like I said, Agent Timmons, they asked to borrow my car, said they needed to use the bathroom and get something to eat because they hadn't walked through the crime scene to do either. I haven't seen them since," Carlin told it like it happened. Beth and Jack hadn't told him their plan on purpose and he hadn't wanted to hear it.

"If I catch wind that you had anything to do with their disappearing act I'm going to hang you for it, Carlin," Timmons growled. He left him sitting on the front porch to go inside the tomb of a safe house. 

Carlin just smiled to himself. It would be the Irredeemable One who'd need protection if Beth got hold of him. She shot to kill, every time.

****

To the credit of the careworn hotel Jack had chosen the room was well air-conditioned. When they opened the dented, paint-flaked door a blast of delicious, cool air assaulted them. Jack walked in and threw the duffel bag onto the single bed. Beth followed him into the maroon and hunter green themed room. First thing off the bat she saw a potential problem. There was only one full-size bed. Neither of them minded sharing a bed but Beth didn't know if it was the best idea. The new flame between her and Jack had the potential to ignite and blow them both straight up.

"Is this your natural color?" Jack asked, winding a strand of Beth's hair around his index finger before flopping down on the bed beside the duffel bag.

"Yes. I've never dyed it before," she answered, looking at the Clairol box instead of Jack.

"I'll be in the bathroom if you need anything." The private eye pulled a pair of sweatpants, a wife-beater and the scissors out of the duffel bag then headed for the small bathroom. Jack kicked off his shoes and flipped on the twenty-inch television. The lanky detective lay down on the bed and let Tom and Jerry distract him.

Beth changed clothes and began the process of dying her hair. First, there were the instructions, plastic gloves, dye and conditioner.

"Jack, come in here and help me, please." She opened the bathroom door and called out. Jack tried not to laugh. Beth could see it in his green eyes.

"I can't read the directions and do this at the same time; you'll have to read it to me." Beth began to laugh just looking at her boyishly charming partner.

"Okay, let's do this." Jack picked up the directions, turned them around the right way and began reading. Beth stooped over the porcelain sink wetting her hair to work the dye in. It was hard for Jack to concentrate. For the next forty-five minutes, he had to chastise himself not to stare at Beth. The girl-chasing detective didn't want to treat Beth like the other girls he'd dated. Lately, he'd been seeing and feeling things that he'd never have dreamed about before. Part of Jack wanted to have madly hot sex with her and part of him wanted to hold her and leave it at that.

Beth felt it too, the rising tension, the mutual need. Once upon a time she'd given in to that tension and need. It wasn't going to happen again, no matter how much Beth wanted it. The price had been too high in the past and she didn't want to pay it again.

"Ah, darn, I've ruined this shirt." Beth looked at the rapidly spreading dye stains covering her chest in the mirror. Like pools of blood, the dye seeped into the innocent, white fabric stretched across her breasts. Jack's hungry gaze drifted from his partner's auburn hair to the stained, stretched fabric of the undersized wife-beater. Making his way backup Beth caught his eye in the reflection, making her blush, but she didn't look away. Both of them felt like they had hummingbird hearts pounding wildly in their chests.

"We'd better get this finished before it burns my scalp." Beth looked away, trying to remind herself not to let Jack get under her skin.

"Yeah, wouldn't want to have a bald partner," Jack quipped with an easy smile, just as nothing was going on between them. Beth grinned and stuck her tongue out at him in the mirror.

"How good are you at cutting hair?" Beth asked Jack, hoping he would be willing to give her a layered cut.

"Don't look at me. I don't even cut my hair, and it's like an inch long." Jack shook his head.

"I need you to at least watch and make sure it doesn't look too bad. I have to look at it after this is all said and done." Beth laughed, it was better than crying, which is what she wanted to do. 

After the conditioner, Beth had to dry and cut her shoulder length, once brown hair. First, she ran her fingers tepidly amongst the long locks.

"May I have the first cut?" Rough, male fingers took up a strand near Beth's face.

"Sure, Jack, why not. It couldn't be any worse than it already is." Beth closed her eyes as her partner took up the shears. A sharp, metallic snick came next and it was time to look in the mirror. Jack stood over her with a lock of hair about four inches long.

"Are you sure you don't want to cut it?" Beth asked, watching Jack's reaction in the mirror. The lanky private investigator shook his head sadly. With some guidance, Beth cut her new ginger locks into a shaggy, layered pixie cut.

"Do I look like the old me?" Beth asked, a stained towel around her shoulders, secretly hoping that he liked it.

"No, you look …" Jack's voice trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"It's that bad?" she pouted. 

Jack took a deep breath before he spoke. "Beth, you look beautiful. You've always looked beautiful." It was out in the open, he'd said it. 

Beth turned to look her partner in the eye.

"Thanks, Jack. For once in your life you're sweet." She laid her hand along his stubbled cheek for a moment and looked into his green eyes. Before he knew what had happened Jack pulled her closer, claiming her lips for a kiss. Bodies pressed close together, pulses racing, the detectives threw caution to the wind and gave in. Beth threw the towel to the floor and began pulling Jack's shirt buttons roughly through the buttonholes. Together they leaned against the bathroom wall, kissing wildly. Jack's hands roved downward. With a ravenous growl, he hoisted her up and easily carried Beth to the full bed. Together they lay diagonally across the comforter, neither of them noticing or caring about the hunter green fleur de lis in uniform rows down the maroon fabric. 

Beth raised her shoulders allowing Jack to pull the stained wife-beater off. His shoes hit the floor as he gazed at his partner lying on the bed, her earthy figure piquing his interests as he shed his slacks. Beth almost snorted when she saw Jack's teddy bear boxers. The brown bears wore blue bows around their necks. The macho detective turned beet red looking down at his unfortunate underwear choice. Laughing, Beth pulled him down beside her on the bed. Jack felt her take hold of his wrist and guide his hand to the elastic waistband of her jogging pants. Getting the idea he slid the loose garment off her hips, revealing red hip hugging panties with a Superman logo emblazoned in yellow below the blue waistband. Superman and the teddy bears lay carelessly discarded on the hunter green carpet as Jack and Beth slipped beneath the sheets. 

Looking into Beth's eyes Jack saw a wealth of emotions; desire, anticipation, fear, and wonder. He ran his fingers through her layered hair as he explored her soft curves with his mouth. Beth's fingertips pressed into his muscular back as he found his quarry. Their bodies intertwined, connecting and convulsing in ecstatic bliss.

"Why didn't we do this a long time ago, Jack?" Beth whimpered as he squeezed the back of her upper thigh tightly.

"You're not an easy woman to get to know, carnally or otherwise," Jack growled, nibbling her right ear lobe, his passion not yet spent. Beth struggled not to cry out as her pent up sexual energy and tension was finally released at Jack's insistence. Together the pair climaxed. 

Afterward, Jack sank onto the bed beside Beth. They lay facing each other as their lovemaking afterglow cocooning them.

"Beth, I want to say that over the last few days I've come to … " Jack didn't get to finish his thought. Sweetly Beth put her finger to his lips and spoke lowly as she looked into his grass green eyes.

"Say you like me, say you care but don't say love, not just yet. It can't be taken back." Beth kissed her partner's lips softly and snuggled against his chest in the cool, air-conditioned hotel room.

"I care very deeply for you, Beth. I didn't realize how much until now. I don't want us to have any secrets." Jack's green eyes looked steadily into Beth's. She could see vulnerability in those pale green pools. The lanky detective pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. For the first time in his life, Jack felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff. He was out of his safety zone. Shoot-outs on patrol and dangerous stakeouts working for Carlin Investigative Service never made his heart skip a beat at the thought of losing Beth.

"I don't want to ever be without you, Jack." Beth yawned as she pulled the sheet higher over her bare arms. She tried but the lady detective couldn't sleep. Beside her, Jack lay sleeping as peacefully as a baby. It had been so long since she'd given up on him seeing her as anything other than good ole Beth. Now he loved her. 

Beth wondered how he'd feel if he knew that she was a mother. She wondered what Carlin would say to the same revelation. The past was something best left buried but Beth knew that it would eventually rise like the undead and bite her in the ass. She thought little enough of herself for giving Anna up for adoption. Beth couldn't stand Jack thinking less of her for it. His opinion of her mattered more than anything.

****


	8. Good Intentions

Chapter 8: Good Intentions

Andrew Carlin sat in an interrogation room drinking bottled water. It had been six hours since Jack and Beth had disappeared in his silver Crown Vic. Agent Timmons had grilled him six ways from Sunday but didn't get anything but the same story he'd told him the very first time. He sensed more than knew that Timmons was watching him through the two-way mirror. As interrogation rooms went this one was standard. Finally, just when Carlin was thinking of pushing his chair to the corner of the room for a much-needed nap Timmons waltzed through the door.

"We've analyzed all the letters, gone through the car with a fine tooth comb and the crime scenes. As far as we can tell this psycho knows police procedure as well as we do. The car bomb is a mixture of dishwashing fluid and a timer made from a cheap clock. From all the names we've run that your detectives have come in contact with none of them have this kind of know how. As far as we can figure this guy is someone that you'd never suspect, a real Ted Bundy type. We need a list of names of all of Carlin Investigative Services' employees, associates, anything, even the Terminix guy." Timmons lay a file on the table between them an inch thick. There were pictures and reports collected over the last three days.

"Am I free to go, ‘cause I'll have to go to the office to get that sort of thing, it's in my files." Carlin studied the Federal agent. Timmons's narrowed black eyes looked bloodshot and the smell of coffee came off of him in waves.

"Yes, but be advised, this murderer may come after you if you try to help your detectives. They are taking a very real and dangerous chance, going off the map this way. If they try to contact you I expect you to let me know." The federal agent handed Carlin a business card with his numbers on it.

"Will do, oh, when you tap my phone, expect to hear from my mortgage company, block the number while you're poking around in there." Carlin heaved himself up from the straight-backed chair and walked out the narrow door behind Agent Timmons.

****

Beth stole Carlin's car

Cut/dyed her hair

Registered at the Mercy Motel

Met former client

An inordinate amount of time in the room

****

Jack woke up to hear the shower running. His and Beth's clothes still lay where they'd thrown them. Lazily Jack threw back the covers, rolled out of bed and pulled on his boxers. Suddenly the water stopped.

"Beth, can I come in?" Jack knocked on the bathroom door gently. To his surprise, the door swung open. Mercy's newest redhead held a white towel wrapped unsuccessfully around her. A mischievous smile spread across her heart-shaped face.

"I was just coming to join you," Beth purred. Jack let himself be backed up against the bed. Easily he fell backward, soon joined by his minx of a partner. All that could be heard was the sound of the air-conditioner coming on. Beth lay on her side, propped up on one elbow, looking at Jack as he lay in the same position facing her. Gently he pulled her off balance, much to Beth's delight as she landed face first. Giggling she squirmed closer to lay her head on Jack's bare chest. Of all the things going on just then; a serial killer and being sought by the FBI, being lovers was more important for the moment.

"Have you ever heard someone else's heartbeat, Jack?" Beth asked out of the blue, her ear pressed to his sandy-haired chest.

"No, not that I can think of, why?" he answered, nearly asleep.

"Someone once told me that I'd know who I was supposed to be with because their heartbeat would tell me.”

"That's an odd prediction," Jack mumbled, playing with a wet strand of Beth's saucy, red hair.

"Andrea was odd sometimes, but she was the sweetest person you could ever meet." The lady detective chirped. Jack listened, wondering how many other stories she had that he'd never heard.

"When do I get to meet her then?" he asked.

"She died when I was seventeen; her parents took me in until I was through school. Andrea had a very rare type of bone cancer." The emotion in Beth's voice was very controlled. There was more to it but Jack didn't push.

"Those were some dark days, a lot of things happened." She almost told him about Anna.

"I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds like you got close to her." Jack felt a single, hot tear hit his chest. Beth wiped it away. Thinking about Andrea always made her think about Anna. The former playboy detective pulled her close and held Beth tight, exactly what she needed just then.

****

Beth opened the apartment door cautiously. The building was run down, barely above being condemned. Jack shivered just looking at the mess. Everything looked like 70's rejects. Pizza boxes sat everywhere amongst the beer cans and various other junk. Walking into the bedroom Beth saw a pair of thongs hanging precariously from the lampshade beside the bed.

"Looks like someone wasn't choosey." Jack looked grossed out pointing to the offending garment.

"You know how it is, lay down with dogs, and get up with fleas." Beth shrugged as she opened a dresser drawer. Her partner raised one eyebrow and shook his head. Together they set about tossing the place. Two hours later Jack pulled the cushions off the couch and turned it upside down. A green velvet covered book lay nestled in the dust bunnies. The curious detective picked it up, then he picked up the paper that fell out. Quickly he scanned the document. It took a minute for his mind to process what he read. Beth rose up from searching behind the television sneezing, her eyes nearly crossed. When her eyes righted themselves she saw something that chilled her blood.

"Where the hell did this come from?" Jack's eyes snapped from the document to Beth's face.

"You never told me about this, I thought we'd taken the next step, Beth." The hurt in his voice was surpassed by the pain in his eyes. Betrayal echoed through the room. Jack's green eyes nailed Beth to the wall.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I haven't told a soul about Anna." Tears fell of their own volition from her gray-blue eyes. Beth's past had come back to bite her in the ass.

"Well you should have told me, Beth, we've been partners all this time. I thought we trusted each other, with everything." Jack laid the green book in her hands and walked out of the apartment.

"Jack, don't leave, please, you don't understand," Beth called, her voice cracking as she began to break down. She ran wildly down the three flights of stairs from the apartment to the parking lot.

"Jack, wait." Beth clasped him by the shoulder, swinging him around to face her.

"What!" he spat out coldly, not even trying to hide the annoyance in his voice.

"I never meant to hurt you." Her words fell cold and hard onto the tense air. Jack turned and walked away. Over his shoulder he said, "You know what they say about good intentions."


	9. My Own Suite in Hell

Chapter 9: My Own Suite in Hell 

Warning-This chapter is particularly gory and violent.

Andrew Carlin and his wife were sitting down to supper when someone began knocking at the back door. The Chief made his wife stay put while he went to see who it was, gun drawn. He was and wasn't relieved to see Jack's face at the back door. From the clenched jaw and fierce eyes, Carlin knew his detective was pissed.

"Come in. Where's Beth?" Andrew Carlin led the way into the dining room.

"I don't know where she is." The playboy detective had never been sentimental but he'd always stuck with Beth.

"You're the target of a serial killer and you left her alone, what happened?" The two men stopped in the kitchen. Jack reached in the fridge and helped himself to a beer.

"Did you know that Beth had a child when she was in high school and gave it up for adoption?" Jack popped the top on the beer and chugged half of it.

"No, and I take it neither did you until recently. What happened, Jack?" Carlin pressed.

"We were going through Zelon's apartment and I found a diary under the sofa, a birth certificate fell out, it was Beth's daughter Anna's. We slept together and she never even told me. I told her I love her, well, tried to anyway." Jack finished the beer and sat the empty can on the counter. Carlin shook his head like he had water in his ears.

"You what?" Ten years of knowing them and the Chief hadn't seen that one coming.

"Yeah, Beth and I, last night and this morning … You know I really thought that she and I had turned a corner. I'd never seen the softer side of her that I saw after her mother died, which I didn't know about her mother either, makes you wonder what else Beth's kept hidden." Typical Jack, he said aloud what most people thought.

"Who is it, Andrew?" the Chief's wife called from the other room.

"It's Jack, Alice." The younger detective stifled a laugh as his boss rolled his eyes and sighed. Carlin's wife waltzed through the swinging kitchen door. Her warm smile greeted her guest.

"Where's Beth?" Alice asked.

"The question on everyone's mind," Jack grumbled.

"She's back at the hotel room," Carlin interjected.

"Have supper with us, Jack." Alice ignored her husband's warning eye signals.

"Thanks, Alice." Jack helped himself to another beer and followed the couple into the dining room.

****

Alone in the dark Beth lay crying in the bed she and Jack had made love in only hours before. She hadn't cried like this since giving up Anna. It felt like the pain would overwhelm and swallow her whole. Jack had walked away, gotten on the bus and disappeared. Stunned, Beth had driven back to the hotel and shut down. Life was caving in around her. It was almost a physical ache. First her mother's death, then finding and losing Jack, the grief was nearly unbearable. The lady detective didn't hear the knock at the door at first. It grew louder as her sobbing subsided.

"Jack, is that you?" Foolishly Beth opened the door. Next thing she saw was a vaguely familiar face then blinding pain as a fist collided with her face.

A few hours later… 

"Hello, my dear Beth, good to see you again," a male voice spoke annoyingly near her ear. When she started to speak duct tape got in the way.

"Been a long time hasn't it, Beth, what, a little over fifteen years now." The voice materialized into a young man of about twenty-five, his dirty blonde features and feverish stare took Beth back to her teen years.

Dylan Harrison, what the hell, Beth thought.

"I see you know who I am." He saw the recognition in Beth's blue eyes.

"Now, as soon as Jack decides to join the party we'll get underway. If I know him, and I do, Jack will be here in about an hour." Dylan grinned sadistically. Beth tried to wriggle but found herself tied to a chair with a telephone cable, both hands and feet.

****

"Where are you going?" Carlin asked after dinner. They'd helped Alice clean up the kitchen and were headed into the living room.

"I'd better go back to the hotel. Beth and I will sort this out later." Jack shrugged. He was still upset but Beth needed him just the same.

"Call later, don't tell me where from, you know the drill." Carlin gave his detective a hearty slap on the back as he let himself out the front door.

"Tell Alice thanks for me." Jack waved as he shut the front door.

***

Twenty minutes later… 

Jack opened the hotel door with his key. The old hotel had brand new magnetic cards for keys. All was quiet as Jack swung the door open. Beth tied to a chair was the first thing he saw, and the last for a few hours. The lanky detective became aware that his hands had fallen asleep when he woke up. Sitting upright in a straight back chair he tried to call Beth's name but couldn't for the duct tape across his mouth. Looking around he saw her sitting beside him, trussed up just like he was. Tears fell from her blue eyes as she looked pleadingly at him. Jack winked at her playfully, trying to take some of the pain from her eyes.

"Jack Michaels, pleased to meet you, I see you've woken up." The voice sounded unfamiliar as the slight figure came around from behind.

"Wow, a captive audience, just what I've always wanted. I'm Dylan Harrison, you haven't met me but maybe you've read one of my works, I go under the pseudonym of The Irredeemable One." Jack lunged at the young man, nearly turning himself over in the process.

"Don't go rocking the boat, Jack. It'll all be over soon enough, don't worry." The room was quiet except for a muffled sob from Beth.

"Let's get down to the business of why we're all here together. You see, my dear Beth here ruined my life before it ever got off the ground." The psycho took hold of Beth's face by the chin and pulled a knife from his hip pocket and flicked it open with one thumb. Blood wept from her cheekbone as he drew the polished blade across her skin.

"I was eleven when my brother died, did you know that, Beth, and thanks for calling me a creep in your diary, which was an enjoyable read by the way." Beth's tears mixed with her blood as he gripped her lower jaw tighter.

"That left me alone with my ever-loving father. Have you ever been to Hell, Beth? Well living with my father is like having your own suite in Hell, You see, Jimmy wasn't the best brother a boy could have but he was my brother and that meant he took up for me. No Jimmy, no one to get the old man off my back. The way I see things is that you are ultimately responsible for Jimmy's death, he was on his way to see you when he was T-boned by a cement truck. It was a closed casket funeral." Another stream of blood flowed down Beth's arm as he drew the blade across her forearm. Jack could hear her muffled scream. The man's voice was cold, as emotionless as a newscaster's.

"As if that wasn't bad enough you took my niece away, still, I got to see her grow up. Guess I got one up on you, my dear Beth. She lives with the McCoy's, the very family that took you in before you finished school. I lived with my aunt just down the block, she was a real witch. Believe me, she could have taught classes in sadism." Another gash opened in Beth's other forearm.

"Now I'm going to make you watch while I kill poor, innocent Jack. Maybe that will hurt you as badly as you hurt me over the years. He can say hello to your mother when he sees her in the Great Beyond, she went along so easily, so peacefully." Jack saw a change in Beth's eyes as the psycho talked. Something in her brain had switched. She'd gotten still and quiet even though she was bleeding. All Jack could do was sit and watch as the dirty, blonde kid came toward him. The killer turned his back on Beth to walk toward him, his very first mistake. Beth used the blood running down her arms and hands as a lubricant to get the telephone wire to slide off of her hands. Quick as a wink she'd untied her feet and pulled a 9mm from beneath the pillows on the bed. The psycho heard it click next to his ear and turned to see what it was. Beth pulled the trigger quickly. Gray brain matter splattered in a 180-degree radius from the back of his head, out of a hole the size of a tangerine.

"Your family hasn't got anything on this bitch, you little creep," Beth spat out after pulling the duct tape away from her mouth. Jack's eyes were as big as saucers. His partner pulled the tape from his mouth and untied him. Throbbing pain made the task difficult.

"Remind me never to piss you off," Jack muttered as he stood up. All around him the room spun as his head throbbed.

"Guess we'd better call the cops," Beth suggested.

"An ambulance too." Jack pointed to her arms as he held his pounding head. Beth grabbed a couple of towels from the bathroom while Jack got the police and an ambulance on their way. His next call was to Carlin who in turn called Timmons. The hotel parking lot swarmed with cars and cops within twenty minutes. Beth and Jack sat on the bed in silence when Timmons swooped in.

"What the hell happened to you two?" He looked around the room from the doorway which was blocked by Dylan Harrison's body. Jack looked up from dabbing at Beth's cheek wound with a wet washcloth.

"Killed a serial killer, aren't you proud," he retorted. Beth's stomach was still lurching from throwing up. She'd never actually looked someone in the eye when she'd pulled the trigger. The nightmares would haunt her forever.

"Remind me never to piss you off," Timmons commented dryly. EMT's came bustling in to get the body and to see to Beth's wounds. Carlin peeked over Timmons' shoulder.

"How'd this go down, guys?" Carlin's gravel voice announced his presence. Beth and Jack gave a rundown on the last few days between them as medics checked out Beth's wounds. Timmons recorded it on an audio recorder, interjecting with questions occasionally. A few hours later he sent the pair home. Beth had to get stitches so she went to the hospital. Jack went to Carlin's house for the night with a severe concussion. Everything was over and it was time to sort things out.

****


	10. Finding Anna

Chapter 10: Finding Anna

Jack jogged mindlessly on his treadmill. It had been three days since he and Beth had been tied up and she'd killed the serial killer. In that time Jack had done a lot of thinking. His heart told him that he should forgive Beth and try to salvage the future. It wasn't easy getting used to the idea of loving her, of actually needing her, much less that she had a past before him that included a now fifteen-year-old child. Life had been so simple when she was just Beth Woods, his partner and friend, with no more attachment than he had to his pets as a child. Running, Jack heard his phone ring. He hopped off to answer it.

"Hello, hey Chief, what's up? Alright, I'll be there in thirty minutes, alright, bye." The lanky detective showered, dressed and took a cab to his boss' house.

"Hey Chief, you were pretty vague on the phone, what's going on that you need me?" Jack looked around behind the mountain that was his boss to see Beth standing behind him.

"I'm sorry, Jack, I needed to talk to you, but every time I call all I got was your answering machine. I didn't know what else to do." Bandages on her arms and one on her cheek were the only things Jack saw about his partner.

"Give me a minute with him, Beth, and then he's all yours, okay?" Carlin asked, his voice low but clear. Beth walked back toward the kitchen.

"Jack, whatever's between you and Beth is just that, between the two of you, but that girl loves you and has since your academy days. Ten years is an awful lot to throw away so think about what you do before you do it." With that Carlin followed Beth's trail toward the kitchen. Jack was left alone with his feelings for a moment before Beth returned. The sassy redhead walked in, her head down before looking Jack in the eye.

"Jack, I know you're angry, and you have every right to be. I should have told you about my mother and my daughter, it's no excuse but talking about them is painful for me, so I never did. I gave Anna up for adoption the day she was born and haven't seen her since. I vowed that I wouldn't lose anyone else after that, but I nearly lost you, Jack. Can you ever forgive me? I'll understand if you can't but …" Beth never got to finish her sentence. Jack pulled her against his chest.

"I forgive you, Beth. How could I hold it against the woman I love?" She wiggled free of Jack's embrace to look up at his face.

"You're not angry?" she said in disbelief.

"I'm more hurt than anything, Beth. I thought we trusted each other more than that, I was hoping that we'd turned a corner in our relationship." Jack's green eyes showed his vulnerability, something Beth had seen only once before.

"It's not that I didn't trust you, Jack, I just couldn't share it all with you, that I'd made a mistake and done something so terrible like giving Anna away. I'm sorry." Tears strained to fall from Beth's eyes. She'd cried more in the last few days than Jack had ever seen, even the times she'd been injured at work.

"I'll take some time, but I'm willing to work it out with you, Beth. We could find Anna if you want, it's not too late." Jack's words were like healing salve to her spirit.

"I called Ms. McCoy and she did adopt Anna. Will you go over there with me to meet her?" Jack was honored to be invited and said so. Together they drove to the Mountain Pass subdivision where the McCoy's had lived for the last twenty-five years. Beth felt sick to her stomach from the butterflies in there. The house hadn't changed since the last time she'd been there fifteen years ago. A dark blue, Volvo station wagon sat in the driveway lined with pansies, just as it had back then. Jack parked Beth's Cobalt behind the Volvo. Together the pair got out and walked up to the front door. 

After a polite tap, the door swung open to reveal a younger version of Beth standing at the door, gray-blue eyes and all. Beth's hand squeezed Jack's, nearly breaking it. Just as he started to speak an older woman came into view.

"Show our guests in, Anna." She motioned Beth and Jack to come inside.

"Ms. McCoy, how are you?" Beth managed finally. "This is my … this is Jack Michaels," she introduced him awkwardly.

"I've been waiting for this day for a very long time, I must admit." The older lady led them into the living room. Beth and Jack sat on the dark maroon couch that faced a lovely stone fireplace. Anna and Ms. McCoy sat opposite each other in a pair of matching armchairs.

"Anna, this is Beth Woods, she's your biological mother," Ms. McCoy announced without preamble. The girl's eyes widened.

"You look so different from the pictures I've seen." Her voice finally started working.

"It's a long story." Beth blushed, touching her flamboyant red hair.

"I've always told Anna about you, answered as many questions as I could. I've never hidden the truth from her, I knew you'd be back." Ms. McCoy leaned forward to pull a photo album from the coffee table. She turned to a dog-eared page of photos with Beth and Andrea. They showed Beth in different stages of pregnancy. She seemed happy as did the little girl in a wheelchair in the photos.

"That's Andrea, she was so special." Beth smiled as she ran her fingers over a picture of them wearing feathered headbands fashioned after Thanksgiving Indians.

"After you left for college I decided to find your Anna. I knew Andrea would want me to, she loved you like a sister." Ms. McCoy's voice cracked. Tears fell freely from her eyes but there was a smile on her aging face.

"Why haven't you searched for me before now?" The question startled everyone. Anna's confusion was written clearly across her young face. Beth stammered, finding the words hard to come by, there were so many.

"I felt unworthy mostly. I screwed up back then. I didn't want to mess up your life again." The words were choked but sincere.

"Beth graduated from college with a 4.0 and at the top of her class at the police academy. She's worked hard to make a difference out there," Jack volunteered. "She's not perfect but she tries hard to be." He desperately wanted this young girl to know the Beth that he knew, the one he was looking forward to knowing better.

"Are you my biological father?" Anna asked frankly, the same edgy tone to her voice that Beth had.

"No," Jack answered. He saw Beth's face turn as red as her hair.

"You biological father died in a car accident while I was pregnant. I didn't know it until a few days ago. You may have known his younger brother, Dylan." Ms. McCoy shot Beth a knowing/warning glance.

"Dylan Harrison, he lives, I mean lived, down the street. I heard that he was shot a few days ago. " Anna looked from Ms. McCoy to Beth and back again. Her confusion deepened. Nothing was making sense. What did Dylan have to do with her father?

"Honey, Dylan was the one the papers called the Irredeemable One. He was out for revenge against Beth, he thought she was the reason his life was so horrible," Ms. McCoy explained in her usual matter of fact way.

"He used to fix my bicycle chain when I was younger." The atmosphere in the living room felt like that of a funeral home.

"Anna, I came to ask for your forgiveness, and to see if you would let me back in your life." Beth came to the point of the meeting before it choked her to death. Jack squeezed her hand in support.

"I don't know, it's all so strange. I've been thinking about you for so long, wishing I could meet you, now you're here. I don't know how this works." Anna wrung her hands as she wracked her brain.

"Honey, Beth didn't give you up because she didn't care or because she didn't want you, you know that. If I were you I'd give this a try, but it is ultimately your decision to make," Ms. McCoy advised. Rising to her feet the matronly woman left the room. Anna picked at the hem of her rocker t-shirt, looking at the beige carpet and redwood furniture.

"I'm not here to take you away from your mom, or to replace her. I just want to get to know you. With everything that's happened recently I've realized that I'm not going to be around forever. Here's my business card, I'll let you think about it." Beth fished out a card and wrote her cell and home numbers on the back as well as her home address.

"I think I can understand why you gave me up for adoption, and I forgive you. I want to get to know you too, but can you give me some time?" Anna looked Beth in the eye as she spoke. There were so many questions she wanted to ask her birth mother.

"I can do that, Anna." Beth smiled, her heart leaping inside at the good news. As she rose to leave Anna stood up to walk them out. Just before Beth crossed the threshold Anna laid her hand on Beth's arm.

"Why did you choose the name Anna for me?" she asked, her voice soft.

"I named you after my mother, she was in a coma until she passed away a week ago." Beth shed fresh tears, wishing her mom could have met her namesake.

"Maybe we could get together and you could show me some pictures, you know, hang out or something." Anna offered the olive branch with shaking hands.

"I'd love that, give me a call. I'll make some of Mom's peanut butter cookies for you." It was a start. Jack saw both trying hard to reach out to each other. He felt like he was witnessing a miracle. 

The detectives drove into the city and had dinner at a nice restaurant a few blocks from Jack's apartment. They talked like never before, asked questions they'd never asked each other. Jack listened as Beth recounted stories from school and from her childhood. She wasn't bossy and sarcastic, not so much anyway. That night was a new beginning between them. Waiters made trip after trip to their table before one of them finally had to tell Jack and Beth that it was closing time. Jack paid the check and drove them back to his house. It was the middle of the night and neither one of them were sleepy.

"Do you want to crash here for the night?" Jack offered as he flopped down on the couch and kicked off his shoes.

"Sure, sounds good. What a day it has been!" Beth sat down beside him on the couch.

"I know, Anna is so much like you, it's a little freaky. Your eyes, and the way you wring your hands, it was like looking at you from the academy days," Jack observed. The former playboy detective pulled an album from the bottom shelf of the glass coffee table and opened it up. Beth saw herself on the first page of the album, academy sweats, ponytail and all.

"You kept these. I thought I'd trashed that film beyond repair." She flipped through the black book of photos looking at herself from ten years ago.

"You did ruin most of the film in that camera. I salvaged what I could in my darkroom," Jack gloated just a little at his own ingenuity and sneakiness. It was the first of many nights spent talking and the first of many albums to look through.

Beth eventually fell asleep on Jack's lap. He stroked her short hair and looked down at her in the dim light. He wished he'd known her better, but then wondered who he was to question God's timing. Gently Jack pulled a fleece throw over her and placed a throw pillow beneath her head. Seeing her lying there melted his heart.

****


	11. Positive

Chapter 11: Positive

Warning: More of that sexual content I warned you about. 

****

It was five in the morning two months after Jack and Beth had slept together in their hotel room. Beth hit the bathroom door at a dead run, hoping to get to the garbage can in time. She had to be at work in three hours and didn't want to spend precious sleep time barfing in the latrine. It wasn't the first morning she'd woken up sick at five in the morning. Beth planned on getting dressed and going to the nearest Wal-Mart for an E.P.T. She strongly suspected that history had repeated itself and she had gotten pregnant her first time with a guy. Life had gotten so much better now that she and Jack were dating but Beth didn't know how he'd react to the prospect of being a father. His playboy ways still surfaced on rare occasions. A night out with the boys was still hard for him to pass up.

After expelling the contents of her stomach Beth showered and dressed for the day and headed out to Wal-Mart. Her second stop was McDonald's for breakfast. While she was there she went ahead and got Jack's McGriddle and a large coffee. He'd need it if the test was positive.

"Good morning, Jack, how are you this morning?" Beth asked sweetly, McDonald's bag in one hand and coffee in the other. Jack blinked and zeroed in on the coffee. He took the cup away from her and walked back into his apartment. The detective had answered the door in his teddy bear boxers and bad morning hair, nothing else.

"Jack, we have to talk." Beth blew inside and closed the door behind her. A few blinks later she had her partner's full attention.

"Do you remember that night in the hotel room, you and me between the sheets?" Beth waited for him to nod as he unwrapped the McDonald’s creation.

"Well, neither of us thought to use protection." Jack's eyebrows arched as he bit into his meal.

"I'm not sure, but I think I'm pregnant." Jack began strangling on his McGriddle. His green eyes watered as he coughed hard.

"I've got an E.P.T. right here. I just haven't taken it yet." Beth pulled the box out of her jacket pocket while Jack got his breathing under control.

"How do you know?" he stammered, wiping coffee off his chin. Beth gave him a wilted look.

"Are you mad?" she fretted, praying that he wasn't.

"No, I'm not angry, more than a little surprised, stunned actually." He sat the breakfast sandwich and coffee on the kitchen counter and pulled Beth to him.

"Will you help me take this pee test?" Beth mumbled, her blue eyes pleading with him.

"How can I help?" Jack asked sarcastically, not meaning to.

"Just come with me, please. This is freaking me out." Beth pulled on his arm like a little kid.

"Alright." Together Jack and Beth crowded into the bathroom. Jack stood looking out the door as Beth peed on the end of the test strip.

"We'll know in a few minutes." Beth swallowed hard looking at herself in the mirror. She'd done the same thing just over fifteen years ago. Looking back at her in the bathroom mirror was an older, wiser woman now in a much better position to have a child.

"Jack, how do you feel about this?" Beth asked, sinking against the wall opposite him in the bathroom.

"I'm stunned, excited and a little scared honestly." He smiled a crooked smile that always melted Beth's heart. Everything was going to be fine, she just knew it.

"What do you want to do if it's positive?" He knew what she wanted to know, a long walk down the aisle or wait and see what happened down the road.

"You're the one for me, Beth. If you say you want to get married tomorrow I'd be happy, say you wanted to skydive and I'd go with you, eyes closed of course, but I'd be there." He closed the gap between them and pulled her to him.

"That's what I was praying you'd say, Jack." The couple hugged as the minutes ticked by.

"It's ready." Jack broke the spell. Nervous, Beth looked at the indicator. Her hands shook as she held it up for Jack to see.

"Positive." She began to cry.

"Do you want another child?" Jack asked as he wiped the tears away with toilet paper. All Beth could do was shake her head yes.

"Well now you've got three of 'em, cause you know me, I'm just a big, overgrown kid," he joked to lighten the moment. They both laughed.

"The Chief's gonna love this, he'll have to go back to the streets while you stay at the office knitting booties or something." The thought made both of them laugh harder.

"I've got to tell Anna." Beth grew even more excited.

"You've got a wedding to plan too, and I've got to use the bathroom before I make a mess on the floor." Jack motioned his fiancée out of the small room. Beth slid out the door and leaned against the wall outside the door.

"How about I plan for the baby and you plan the wedding. I don't want it to be really extravagant if you don't, invite the Chief, Alice, your mother, whom I haven't met yet, Anna and the McCoys, maybe a few others." The new mother looked down at her still trim stomach. She wondered what it would be like to be pregnant again.

"That sounds good. What are we going to do about living arrangements after we're married; do you own your house or what?" Jack asked over the flushing toilet.

"I own the house outright, my dad's life insurance paid for it and partially put me through college. It's a three bedroom, two bathroom house so there's plenty of room." Jack opened the door to see Beth poking at her stomach.

"That's my job," he teased to get a smile out of her, "So now what do we do, go on to work and tell the Chief?" Jack walked into the bedroom, Beth right behind him.

"Yeah, it'll be a few months before I need maternity leave, but I don't see him letting me do any investigating outside the office do you?" The lady detective nosed around in Jack's dresser drawers as he pulled slacks, shirt and a tie out of the closet. For a single guy, his drawers were fairly neat. Dress socks were separate from sport socks and undies had the other half to themselves. 

"No, he won't let you do a thing from now on, and I will agree with him, you've had enough close calls for this year." Beth felt her heart warm under Jack's concerned yet firm gaze.

"Okay, it'll give me time to make arrangements for the wedding and to help you move." She grinned as she walked around the room looking at Jack's photographs hanging on the walls.

Beth stood by the bed looking at the photo of the old car. Even in black and white she could see the platinum blonde's every detail in the poster size print on the wall. Her long, light gown was split up to the hip, her small feet encased in sleek heels. A fur wrap hung limply on the woman's gloved arms as she stepped out of the dark colored car, one hand on the door the other adjusting a small hat atop platinum tresses. She looked off to her right, away from the camera which caught her forever ready to step out into the night. Inaudibly Jack padded up behind her on the thick, gray shag carpet. His hands felt warm on Beth's shoulders. Her starched, white blouse was as thin as paper, allowing the warmth of Jack's hand to seep through. Delicately he traced the pads of his fingers down her arms then back up again, making her shudder.

"Which one is more beautiful, the girl or the car?" Beth felt his breath on her neck as he spoke into the shell of her ear.

"The girl," she answered, standing perfectly still.

"I say this girl is more beautiful." Tenderly Jack pulled Beth against his chest, kissing her neck as he slid his arms around her waist. It was hard to breath; he was so close, giving her so many new sensations to process all at once. Beth held back, unaccustomed to being kissed. A soft moan of pleasure escaped her throat as Jack slipped his hand inside her blouse and beneath her breast, the fire of his touch making Beth's already pounding heart speed up. His thumb teased her nipple, goading it to harden as he pulled the buttons free of their holes with the other hand. Nothing could have pulled the lovers apart. Beth's knees felt weak as she leaned back against Jack for support.

"Oh, Jack," Beth breathed, shuttering uncontrollably. She turned to face him, pressing tightly against his lean frame. Eagerly she slid Jack's boxers off of his hips and let them hit the floor. Beth let him unfasten her pants and slide them off of her as she stepped out of her shoes. Together Jack and Beth fell into his queen sized bed. Jack slid his hand between her thighs to explore Beth's sensually wet nether regions as she lay on her back. Passionately she kissed him, capturing his bottom lip playfully between her teeth. The lanky detective ever so gently ran the pad of his index finger across her collar bone, tickling her skin and making Beth arch her back in exquisite pleasure. In return for his trouble, Beth ran her fingers south along Jack's happy trail, gently pulling the fine, sandy hairs along the tender trail. With a growl, Jack threw away the foreplay and went directly for a touchdown. Forward and down he thrust, gaining inch by superb inch. Beth tightened around Jack, forcing him to slow down and fight for it, arousing him all the more. The effect made her gasp. Beth's breast thrust against Jack's finely haired chest. Jack moved his hot, roving kiss from his partner's neck to the convenient expanse of her breast. Beth let his taunt, muscular body loom over her, allowing Jack free reign over her body as he held himself aloft. The lovers satiated ten years worth of pent up love, lust, unspoken need, and angst. Beth rose to meet her partner, thrusting her hips to grind against him. Jack looked her in the eye as she climaxed with a curiously mischievous twinkle in his eye. Moments later his passion played out, releasing with a blindingly golden sensation, if you could color sexual pinnacles. The pair lay breathless and spent atop the navy blue comforter on Jack's big bed. Sweaty from lovemaking they chilled when the air-conditioner kicked on. Jack pulled a summer throw over them both that lay at the foot of the bed. Exhausted he and Beth fell asleep in each other's arms until the alarm clock went off at seven-thirty.

"I've got to shower for work," Jack groused as he rolled out of bed stark naked. Beth giggled, thinking of a smart-aleck response but not saying it. Instead, she rolled over into the warm spot left by Jack's body and inhaled his masculine scent.

"What would you do if I had twins?" Lazily Beth sat up to retrieve her clothes from the floor and got re-dressed for the day.

"I don't know, name one of them after my dad," Jack hollered through the closed door to the bathroom.

"What was his name?" Beth asked, trying to remember if she'd ever heard it.

"Samuel was his first name," came the reply. It sounded funny on Beth's tongue, but so did Beth Michaels. She smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror on the back of the closet door as she buttoned her shirt.

"What do you think would be a good name?" Jack asked, opening the door to hear better.

"I don't know, I haven't thought about it, haven't thought about who should be the godparents or anything." Beth sighed, there was so much to do and so little time to do it in. A baby and a wedding to plan for not to mention work.

"I think the Chief and his wife would be a good choice, what do you think?" Jack hollered over the sound of running water. Beth stood in the doorway of the bathroom so she could talk to Jack before they went to work.

"Good choice, he'll be thrilled," she answered. They talked about a lot of things that needed talking about; where to have the wedding, the guest list, maid of honor, best man and so on. Together the pair agreed that Carlin would be best man and Anna would be maid-of-honor and they would each come up with a list of people to invite once they decided on a wedding date. Jack made a mental note to call his mother and give her the good news. She would be ecstatic to hear her baby boy was getting married and settling down. He just didn't know if she'd like that he was expecting a child. Jack figured his mother would get over it eventually. If not she lived in Arizona and wouldn't be around that often.

****


	12. Epilogue/Diary

Chapter 12: Beth's Diary 

This is Beth's Diary around the time Anna was conceived and carried. I wrote this and it helped me write the story.

****

June 26, 1993

I snuck out of the house after supper. Man was Darin and Tula pissed about the tattoo. Jimmy met me down the block then we went to the movies. We snuck in there. It was a blast. I couldn't quit giggling. We walked in during the preview for Amityville: A New Generation. I don't really remember what was playing, we spent most of the movie making out. Jimmy is the best kisser ever. He gave me a necklace. It's gorgeous, it's gold with diamond chips in a square setting. After that, we left the movie and went parking. I let him go all the way this time. Having sex was kinda scary at first, but Jimmy was so sweet and gentle. It hurt at first, but Jimmy says that's normal.

Eventually, it stopped and it was good after that. He said we'd be together forever. I can't wait until he's saved up enough money. We're going to drive straight to Vegas and get married. I can't wait!

Beth Cheyenne Woods- Harrison

*****

July 23, 1993

I haven't heard from Jimmy in two weeks. He hasn't returned any of my calls. I went to the garage where he works and they said he hadn't showed up to work in like ten days. After that, I went to his step-father's trailer over on the south side. The jerk had the nerve to say that any whore of Jimmy's wasn't welcome to his house. The place is a nasty dump. Kinda felt sorry for Jimmy's little brother, Dylan, but the kid's kinda creepy. Jimmy told me he's troubled but I'd say he's nuts-o. The kid kept looking at me like he wanted to crush my skull with his bare hands. I don't know what else to do. Things are awful at Darin and Tula's. They barely let me out of the house to go to school and I haven't been feeling that great lately. I wish my mom were here, she'd fix me ice cream with warm graham crackers like when I was little. Sometimes I wish I was still little.

Beth Cheyenne Woods-Harrison?

****

August 1, 1993

I'm pregnant. My mom would slap me if she knew. Dad would really let me hear it too. I miss them. I haven't heard from Jimmy, probably never will, the skunk. Darin went on a big, long sermon about sex before marriage. I bet you couldn't have gotten him and Tula apart if you hosed them when they were dating. Hypocrites. I don't know what to do. I wish mom would wake up, she'd know exactly what to do. I think the parental units are going to have me moved before I start showing. That's fine with me; I hate that stupid house anyway. Maybe I'll be moved somewhere there aren't ten little brats running around, screaming, and tattling on me.

Beth Cheyenne Woods

*****

August 10, 1993

My social worker came to the house today. Sure enough, the fosterzillas wanted me out. Hypocrites. Miss Wellman helped me get all my stuff together and we left. She took me to the McCoy's house. They only have one kid besides me, Andrea. She's not too bad, she's twelve and has to use a wheelchair to get around. Miss Wellman told me that I was lucky to get in here; the McCoy's didn't want to accept a "troubled" child. I'll show them trouble if they get in my way. Guess being an orphan practically, has its advantages. They were suckers for my story. Guess I won't have to worry about Andrea finding my diary; she can't reach past my shoulder. She's awfully little for a twelve-year-old. Guess it has to do with whatever keeps her in the chair. Ms. McCoy looked me up and down when she opened the door. Didn't say anything, good thing I guess. Mr. McCoy sorta grinned and shook my hand. He looked real tired, like something kept him up all night. Who knows, it may have been Ms. McCoy. Gotta go, Andrea's cruising this way.

Beth Cheyenne Woods

***

August 26, 1993

I ditched school this afternoon, hung out at the arcade playing the same old Pac-Man game. I got home just in time to get a sermon about responsibilities. The stupid school must have called about me. Ms. McCoy was really pissed. She made me sit down on the couch and then she just sat there for like ten minutes staring at me. Her lips were drawn up so tight I thought she was going to swallow them. She started in about how it was my responsibility to go to school, how it was a privilege and just because I was "expecting" wasn't a good enough excuse not to go. She didn't really raise her voice or anything. That's when we heard a big crash in the kitchen. Ms. McCoy went white as a sheet, jumped up and flat out ran to the kitchen. I followed her. Andrea lay on the linoleum, blood and broken glass all over. Poor kid must have been trying to get a glass of water from the tap. Ms. McCoy shouted at me to call 9-1-1 while she bent down beside Andrea. She's so small for a twelve-year-old. I remember all the kids in my sixth-grade class being bigger than that. I called the paramedics and told them the address and everything. The operator sounded like she already knew the address before I opened my mouth. They were there in like five minutes. Ms. McCoy looked at me like I was Satan himself and told me to wait for Mr. McCoy to get home and tell him what happened. It was weird. About an hour later, after I'd cleaned up the mess, just for the heck of it, he came home. He asked me if I'd eaten then told me to make two peanut butter sandwiches and to pack a change of clothes while he got a change for him and Ms. McCoy. Talk about overprotective. Anyway, we ate peanut butter sandwiches while he drove like a maniac all the way to the hospital. They never would tell me what was going on with Andrea. Kinda hope the kid's alright, she's not too bad for a munchkin.

Beth Cheyenne Woods

****

August 28, 1993

Andrea gets to come home tomorrow. She finally told me why everyone freaked out when she fell out of her chair. She's got a disease with a fancy name. She can pronounce it perfectly. The thing boils down to a rare bone cancer. Ms. McCoy told me that Andrea didn't want me to know when she heard I might be living with them. Seems she thought I'd be a good distraction for her mother. The kid pulled me down to her level and told me about her disease and that the doctors have about given up on her ever getting better. The ghouls have sent her home to die basically. I wish I had half the spunk that kid does. She was comforting me before I left with Mr. McCoy to go back to the house. Andrea asked about the baby before I left. Guess I'm starting to show a little. Wonder how long it's going to be before all my clothes are too little? I've got to go, think I'll make some supper for Mr. McCoy, he's taking a nap on the sofa. Poor schmuck hasn't slept since Andrea went to the hospital.

Beth Cheyenne Woods

****

September 28, 1993

My social worker, Miss Wellman, came out today after school. She asked me what I planned to do when the baby was here. I hadn't even thought about it until now. I don't know what to do. I want to keep my baby but how am I going to do it when I'm too young to get a job, no high school diploma, nothing to offer it? Maybe adoption would be the best thing. I hear that healthy, white babies are really hard to adopt in the U.S. Guess people with lots of money are the only ones who can afford all the lawyers and red tape that goes with it. I'll ask when Miss Wellman comes back next week. Andrea says she already knows it's a girl. She hugged me the other day and laid her head on my stomach and whispered something. Little turd wouldn't tell me what it was either. She's coughing really badly lately. She tries to hide it from her mother, but I can tell Ms. McCoy already knows. I just try to stay out of the way. I know if I were in Andrea's place I'd want my mom to pay attention to only me. Guess I'm more selfish than Andrea.

Beth Cheyenne Woods

****

November 22, 1993

I got to go see Mom this morning. She's still laying there just the way she was after the accident. Andrea wanted to come too but her mom wouldn't let her, said there were too many germs around. I think it was because she wanted to let me see Mom in private. I got onto the B/C honor roll this semester. The holidays are going to suck without Mom and Dad. I miss them so much. I feel like I'm waddling already. Three days ago I found out it is a girl. Andrea gave me the smuggest, I-told-you-so look when she heard. She is so cute. I see Ms. McCoy cry sometimes while she watches Andrea fall asleep. I think I can imagine a little of what she must be going through. I'll lose a child soon enough. I agreed to put my baby up for adoption as soon as she's born. Miss Wellman wanted me to sign the papers right then but I told her to stuff it, Anna is mine until she's born. That's what I've decided to name her; Anna after my mother. I just hope she gets to keep it once she's adopted out. I'll be the only thing I can give her. I told Mom about it, maybe she heard me. Maybe where she's at she can tell Dad. I know they'd be disappointed in me but I'm going to change that somehow. I promise.

Beth Cheyenne Woods.

*****

January 5, 1994

Today is the first time I've gotten to write since Thanksgiving. It has been so busy around here. Ms. McCoy took me shopping for Christmas presents for everyone and for a few new maternity clothes. I felt bad taking the stuff she bought. I bought Andrea a beautiful music box for Christmas. It has a ballerina dancing on top. I had it extra specially wrapped so it wouldn't break. I know she'll love it. Ms. McCoy broke down on me today while we were in the mall shopping. She saw a pair of girls' skates and started balling. I balled too. Finally, we had to get a bench outside the store. She cried about how unfair it was that she'd never see her daughter go to prom and graduate and do all the stuff kids do. I felt so guilty. She didn't blame me for anything or say anything like that. She's a good egg, just a little cold and distant sometimes. I guess a sick kid will do that. Mr. McCoy spends a lot of time in the garage these days. He tries hard not to cry when he looks at Andrea, but he does sometimes. I feel so bad for them. I try to keep Andrea company so that the McCoy's can rest. We read books, play games, play Barbies and do puzzles to pass the time. I don't have as much time now that school has started back. I wish I'd gotten to know Andrea before she was sick. She's so old for her age, if that makes any sense. The other day she told me that my mom liked the idea of naming the baby after her. I hadn't even told anyone about it and I doubt Andrea could reach the hiding place for my diary. Sometimes I wonder about her, it's like the kid is a mind reader or something. Guess I'll never know.

Beth Cheyenne Woods

****

February 14, 1994

Andrea seems to be a little better today. She sat in the kitchen and helped me make heart shaped brownies. I feel so different lately. This motherhood thing feels pretty good. I used to be so angry. Now I'm just glad that I'm healthy and that I've lived as long as I have. I'm gonna miss Andrea. She's asleep right now; poor little kid does that a lot lately. Ms. McCoy hovers over her when she sleeps. That's the only time Mr. McCoy can stand to be around her without crying. I don't know how he's going to say good-bye. That makes two of us actually. My girl is always moving these days. Guess she doesn't want me to forget about her, not that it could ever happen. Jimmy Harrison I'll forget, Anna never. I love her so much.

Beth Cheyenne Woods

****

March 26, 1994

My Anna was born yesterday. She was eight pounds and six ounces and twenty-two inches long. Anna, my Anna is so beautiful, just like a little angel. I was getting ready for school when my water broke. Guess I screamed because Ms. McCoy came running in her robe. The ambulance came in no time flat. The EMT's seemed confused that it was me instead of Andrea. She wanted to go so bad but Ms. McCoy wouldn't let her. Andrea got to come today and see her. Seems she pitched a huge fit, started coughing, turned blue and everything. I was so scared when she held Anna. They're both so frail. I'm glad Andrea got to see her. She insisted on being wheeled right up to my bed and whispered in my ear that Anna knew I had to give her up and that it didn't mean she didn't love me still. Andrea said that everything would be alright. I asked her how she knew that and she told me that her angel had told her. She said her angel told her I'd find Anna again and the three of us would be a family. The little stinker giggled at me when I asked who the third person was and said I'd know it in his heartbeat, whatever that means. She was so convinced. Who knows? I have to leave Anna with my social worker tomorrow. She'll be here at the hospital in the morning when they release me. The lawyers have already sent me the paperwork to sign. I don't want to sign it, but I don't know how else to take care of Anna the way she should be. I won't sign until the last minute. God, I wish Mom was here.

Beth Cheyenne Woods

****

April 18, 1994

Andrea is in the hospital. The doctors say this is the end. I don't want her to go. My tutor gave me a week's worth of school work but I haven't touched it and don't plan to. I'm going to spend as much time with Andrea as possible. She has been a blessing through all this. Getting to know this courageous, little girl has changed my life. Yesterday I was reading her favorite Babysitters Club book and she asked me what my Daddy looked like that she wanted to say hello when she got to Heaven. I started crying. I told her he was about six feet tall, with blue eyes and loved to whistle. The McCoy's came in and I went outside. What am I supposed to do when she's gone?

Beth Cheyenne Woods

****

April 21, 1994

Andrea is gone, slipped away this morning at about ten o'clock. She'd been unconscious for about eighteen hours and all the sudden she woke up and looked at a corner of the room with a big smile and she was gone. I'll never forget the wail of grief Ms. McCoy let out when she realized what had happened. I ran out into the hallway and collapsed against the wall. All the nurses and the doctor came in and it was just too much for me. I can't believe it. I can still hear her giggling. I miss her already.

Beth Cheyenne Woods

In loving memory of Andrea McCoy November 22, 1982 – April 22, 1994

*****

Epilogue.

After that, there were no more diary entries. Beth went on to finish high school and then to college where she earned a degree in criminology. At the age of 21, she entered the police academy, graduating at the top of her class. It was there that she met Jack Michaels, who graduated second in his class. Beth kept her past a secret from everyone, burying herself in work. She never forgot Andrea or the McCoys. Together they helped each other deal with the anger, grief and helplessness left after Andrea's death. The McCoys moved to Denver and opened a bookstore called Andrea's Shelves. They work tirelessly to raise funds for childhood cancer research.


End file.
